A 30something who has many many thoughts on life, love, and taking control of your career! I also rant about things that I'm passionate about, and will occasionally dabble in what's going on in the world. I write poetry, paint, and love hiking with my girlfriend. I'm all about keeping your zen, finding balance, and spreading love and positivity.
There are so many changes we're facing as a society in the world these days, so I just want to write about them!
Love & Light! -Tati
We did it again! This time in West Catskills, New York. If you’re new to my blog, welcome friend (sending big virtual hugs to anyone who has stumbled across my thoughts and stayed this past year 🙂 – THANK YOU!). Last December, Sarina and I took a trip to upstate New York, and we stayed in a tiny cabin, hosted by Getaway. We had such an incredibly relaxing trip, that I blogged (and we vlogged) about it.
I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to write a blog post for the Getaway site, and in exchange, the wonderful team gave us a free stay at any location of our choice – Thanks Getaway! It is now May 2021 (the best month of the year), and ‘outside’ is slowly starting to open back up, so we decided to stay close and check out the West location. We did notice some differences, between the two campgrounds, and we talk about our experience there, in the YouTube video below.
We have 2 big trips coming up this year, and now that I am 50% vaccinated (hehe), I can’t wait to go on an actual vacation (safely of course)! Are you going on any trips this year? Thinking of staying in a tiny cabin? It’s worth the experience in my opinion, if you’ve never done it before.
I remember looking in the mirror at the age of like 14/15 or so, and thinking…
Hmmm I wonder how I’m going to look when I’m like 30. How will I carry myself? Will I be married, or on my way to my second child by that age? What kind of car will I drive? Will I be living in New York City? What will I be doing for a living? What will 30 year old me look like, and how will I feel at that big age? Will I be mature enough to handle all of life’s adult challenges?
Teenage me felt like 30 years old was such an established, GROWN WOMAN age, and at 32 going on 33 next month, I still feel the same way (but there are so many layers to this). My mindset has morphed throughout my teenage years and throughout my early 20s. I’m so thankful for my life experiences, and for all of the life lessons I’ve learned. My individual, personal, and professional relationships have all contributed to the personal I am in this current moment.
So much has changed over the years. That 15 year old girl staring at herself in her bedroom mirror on the 3rd floor of her mother’s house would’ve never have imagined that she’d go on to attend 2 colleges in the span of 4 years, graduate with her bachelor’s degree (*on time), and become a member of an amazing multicultural sorority. The love sessons I had to learn were probably some of the toughest, but I grew so much from them, and found the love of my life (again) at the age of 30. I couldn’t imagine having a daughter in my 20s, although I thought I would, because my mother did (and she did an amazing job, might I add). I just had so much to grow through and learn before I could give a child the best source of love that I could be able to provide. Side bar, can’t even believe I’m saying this but.. I think I’m ready for this step, once we get a little bit of travel exploration and home-buying goals crossed off of our list….. wow this is next level adult mindset sh*t lol.
One thing’s for sure, two things for certain, your 20s are fun and liberating but your 30s are even better for a multitude of reasons. I am only going on year 3 in this decade, but so far all of the things I’ve heard about, regarding how you personally feel about/perceive certain challenges is so much different (in a *positive way). I wouldn’t say that you let every challenge or frustration just roll off of your back, but you start to see the bigger picture, and really identify with the fact that you have to trust the process and move throughout life in a way that aligns with your higher self (selfless when you factor in the collective experience, *becauseeveryone is connected). I also, tend to take better care of myself, when I realize that I’ve fallen off from that (this is something I’m working on). As time goes by, I only want to nurture that understanding, and continue to prioritize self-care even more because it’s so important.
Things that bothered me in my 20s definitely don’t bother me now. The way I would deal with certain challenges in the past, is definitely not the way I would deal with them in this moment. It’s above me now.
I’ve written about certain moments, where I’ve reflected on my personal challenges at 32, and in hindsight, while I battle with the ‘Monday Scaries’ since I used PTO on Friday and Monday (it is now Monday evening heavy sigh), I want to write a letter to my younger self. So here she is:
Hey Girl, what’s up it’s probably not even that serious, whatever you’re currently going through so let it go. We’ve got bigger things on the horizon. Only make moves when you hearts in it, and live the phrase sky’s the limit, like Biggie said. Whoever you are stressing about right now, if going to fade away faster than a one hit wonder, so if it doesn’t serve your happiness, move on. Keep that drive, it will help you in the long run, I know that you channeled it in other ways in the past, but we will grow from that. Anger does not serve you in any way (always remember that).
Try to limit moments when you want to act impulsively. This does no one any good, and you just wind up kicking yourself in the a$$ anyway when it’s all said and done. Each time you want to go from 0-100, think to yourself “Is this really worth it? Probably not”, because 9/10 it’s probably not, and you’ll thank yourself later when you take the high road, although Ms. Pride does not want that.
Have fun when you’re dating, none of this sh!t will last until it feels right, but draw those boundaries once you learn from one important lesson, or you’ll be put in more situations where you’ll be served with the same lesson in a different form (don’t believe it? you’ll start to see a pattern, the more you don’t listen to yourself). When you do meet The ONE, embrace it boo because she’s everything you want and more (yes, I said *she and I know you’re probably not surprised…or maybe you are lol). Try not to let past challenges trigger you in any way. Although it’s easier said than done, the lessons you’ve learned about yourself in failed relationships, once applied to your forever-relationship, will show you how much you’ve grown and how divinely timed this moment is once you’re ready for real, true, and unconditional love.
Your job search is going to be ROUGH at first boo. I’m here to tell you to CHILL, no for real, Chill. Again, I know you’re over it, but this is when you have to also understand that you can’t control everything and you have to *TRUST THE PROCESS. In due time, it will all turn out fine. You’ll get the job that puts your foot in the door, you’ll make great professional connections and meaningful personal relationships along the way when your career takes off. You’ll hit a wall, more than once, but you just have to know that you can get up and *YOU WILL ELEVATE after each trip along the way. Stay focused on bettering yourself, jobs will come and go. You’ll be in rooms you never thought you’d be in, and excelling to levels you never even envisioned at this age, but challenges will come so you have to take care of yourself in the process.
As you continue to take care of yourself, you will run into moments when you feel that your purpose is calling you elsewhere, and that’s okay. You’ll feel bad about work and sometimes get really stressed about it and want to quit…. that’s okay too. Again, take care of yourself, start doing more of what makes YOU feel good, and remove anything that hinders your growth and/or brings down your energy.
High Vibrations Only.
Continue to spend time with your family and your close friends whenever you can (there’s a whole pandemic taking place in 2020, and this will change the game for everyone). Pay attention to your parents more and more, as time goes by. I know, sounds weird, but they’ll need you more than you know, and everything will come full circle. EVERYTHING.
Travel. Travel. Travel. Travel. Travel. Be Safe.
Travel some more.
Be Safe. Travel. Travel. Travel.
Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaave. Pay Off Your Debt ASAP.
Invest in long term assets, build generational wealth (like start this process NOW, your kids will thank you).
Also, travel some more.
Paint, write, go for a hike, care for plants (what? I know, you’ll love it later in life) and use your creative gifts as often as possible, this is basically therapy for you.
Get used to saying those affirmations, they will not go away, you will just continue to improve them as time goes on.
Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Give yourself a lot of time and personal care (it’s not a good-to-to-have, it’s a requirement).
Be open to new opportunities, but most importantly…
REMAIN YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF as you always have been, and you’ll see the fruits of your labor in the work that you do while hear on this earth.
Always remember, you got this! *No matter what.
I don’t know what the next decade holds, but I’m taking it one day at a time, with an open mind, while focusing on what brings me happiness ultimately. Things change, jobs change, life changes, but we have to stay in touch with who we are and trust the process no matter what. If something doesn’t fulfill you, I think you should plan to move on and ride the wave of what happens next (navigating gracefully) until you get to where you want to be. That’s where I’m at right now. I’m battling anxiety as I write this, but I also feel that this has been therapy for me.
I feel lighter after getting all of this off of my chest, and somewhere in the a time warp, there’s a dimensional pocket in ‘time’ where I’m slipping this letter to my younger self, and even if she doesn’t read it until she’s older, she’ll find out all of these things in due time and I am grateful for that. Maybe I’ll check back in with another letter when I look back on my 30s. This has been helpful for me.
I saw a meme the other day, that I think many 30-somethings can probably relate to…
As I get ready to dig through 2 days worth of emails, before coming back to the madness tomorrow, I am affirming the below:
This will be a good week. I will have a productive 4 days remaining, which will set myself up nicely for another weekend getaway trip that we’re doing upstate next weekend. I will navigate gracefully and let go of things that I cannot control. I will trust the process, and the all of the universe is conspiring to ensure that I align with my ultimate purpose, as it relates to each and every experience. In due time, everything will turn out fine. All is well, and so it will be.
Hello March, I’m welcoming you with open arms honey. Please be good to me and my homegirls!
February was a great month. Full of lots of blessings, lessons, impactful information, Black history and meaningful connections. On Sunday, February 21, my girlfriend and I joined a panel discussion for all people looking to learn more about the importance of Black love and embracing diversity in relationships — it was so much fun!
Unrelatable, a series created by blogger, Brie Milan. This series definitely peaked my interest when I learned that it was created to highlight the lifestyles and perspectives of those who live lives that cannot be defined by societal norms. She aspires to build a network that focuses on uniting, uplifting, and informing those individuals within this community.
Brie is a Detroit native, currently residing in North Carolina. Not only does she bring people together from all walks of life, she is an activist, and an advocate for self care practices — and I love the work she does! You can follow Brie’s Instagram @brie_milan to get notified on all of the amazing content she’s sharing, and to stay up to speed on upcoming discussions that she will be hosting. Pssst! Be on the lookout for another discussion that she will be hosting this month!
The conversation was DEEP yet hilarious, but also candid and raw in so many ways. We were also joined by another couple @beautifullyblending (Cierra and Anthony), and of course Brie was joined by her co-host and boyfriend Ron. We truly appreciated both of their love stories. I can go on and on about how amazing this panel was, but you’ll have to check it out for yourself (if it interests you), because my summary won’t do this any justice.
As we talked about what makes our love unique, we also spent time uncovering perspective on so many topics: Polyamory, Gender Roles, DatingExperiences that involve Blended Family commitments. Some of the topics we touched on, might even be considered ‘taboo’ when it comes to societal norms within the LGBTQ+ community. This was our first time joining a live conversation, and we really enjoyed it, so we look forward to building more of these types relationships, and working with others who want to elevate important conversations that shed light on so many important perspectives, and provide insight into some of the topics we don’t typically talk about.
If you’ve made it down this far, thank you so much for coming to my blog and reading this post. I appreciate YOU!
On the very day of the solstice, December 21, 2020, Jupiter will come as close to Saturn as Jove’s own moons! When Jupiter and Saturn—the two biggest planets in our solar system—meet, it’s termed the “Great Conjunction.” What’s even more special is that it’s happening on night of the winter solstice.
…a conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn is rare and only happens once every 20 years. And December 21, 2020, brings the closest great conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn in 397 years. From our point of view, the two giant worlds will appear only 0.1 degrees apart.
This 1-night affair was so special, that it was predicted, we would somehow tap into our powers and flourish at an incredibly unstoppable rate.. Did somebody say
Okay so, here’s where I landed after laughing at tweets and researching the Great Conjunction… I feel this is true! For some reason that I can’t really put into words (so I’ll try my best to explain it), I feel that their is something magical happening while all of these rare cosmic changes in the Universe are taking place. This brings me to this year’s mindset, which I wrote about in my previous post.
2021 — The Year of Opportunity
I see so many people I know, who are tapping into their creative and intellectual gifts and capabilities. Whether it’s a friend from college who just started a business… Or the childhood friend who is diving into her artistic passions, and flourishing with her super impressive content. I’m inspired by the commitment and dedication that I’m seeing this year, from everyone. These projects are incredible, and the Black Excellence — *I love to see it!
I say all of this, to say that I’m so here for all this greatness! I personally think that we will change the way “work” has been viewed from this point on. So many of us are really sticking to our passions, stepping out of their comfort zones, and creating a life of meaning and purpose, just by devoting time to what truly moves them — and that is so beautiful to witness!
One thing I can say is that when it comes to 2021, I am accepting all opportunities that I would’ve previously put on hold due to my own limiting beliefs. For some reason, I don’t know if it had anything to do with me settling into my 30s and getting clear about what I want, or just because I’m looking forward to a better year coming out of 2020, but I am so ready to live to my full potential, and CREATE – CREATE – CREATE!
And these blessings?
Let’s use this year to truly let go of our limiting beliefs, go after our dreams, and do what we love, because we’re on the pathway to success! Who knows where diving into our passions will take us?! It’s only up from here. I’ve activated my power of Navigation & Creation.
What power have you unlocked?
They say the YOUniverse is made of Melanin so…I’ll leave that here to close this off*
If you’ve made it down this far in the post, thanks for coming through! Feel free to share any thoughts you have around this topic, and get ready to flourish because, the time is now!
We’ve almost made it through one full month of 2021 – can you believe it?
Some takeaways from the month of January:
Self Care is Priority #1 – Always! Eat well, and maintain your mental health, whatever that looks like for you (I always say this, but USE that PTO, it’s YOURS!)
We should really be paying more attention to the stock market *coughs, GameStop
Check on your strong friends, life’s been so hectic, it’s important to see how they’re doing
Rest in Paradise Miss Cicely Tyson – We are so thankful for all of the gifts you’ve shared with us!
TikTok challenges are still a thing, unfortunately
Ashanti won the Verzuz battle, idc idc idc!….
We finally got Trump OUT of here, despite his ridiculous group of supporters attempting to storm the capital. (What in the actual %!@^)
Last but certainly not least, my Vice President is not only a, WOMAN! She is also Black and Asian – YAS Queen!
How have you been spending your first month in the new year?
It was super weird watching the typical channels that normally televise New Year’s Eve events with large crowds near Times Square, altering their approach to a more socially-distanced setting, but I definitely enjoyed spending it with Sarina and her mom. We basically had a sleepover and binge-watched old seasons of The Real World. We’re fanatics, so that was fun. We made a bunch of finger foods and chilled out in the living room for most of the weekend, so that was also very enjoyable. I know must of us were working on our vision boards for the new year, and *I LOVE to see it! I hope you achieve all of those goals sis!
This year I have so many personal and professional goals that I want to reach, but I will trust the process and will also be sure to take care of myself, while working towards each of these achievements throughout the year of 2021. I am typically, very hard on myself when it comes to goal-setting and this year, I feel that I need to release my internal struggles with control, and just flow with the current. Meaning, whatever Life brings me, I will adapt to it as best as possible, and will try my absolute best to stay positive while seeing the blessing/lesson behind each experience as I see it through to the end. I seriously need to thank my girlfriend for helping me with simplifying my life. She reminds of the fact that “The Day is Literally What You Make It“, and promotes balance into my life, so I am *forever grateful for her.
Recently, work has been VERY stressful for me, to be completely honest, although I am doing the best I can, I’m also trying to prioritize my own mental health above all. I’ve had moments where I’ve experienced really bad anxiety, so I really think it’s important for me to try and seek therapy, in order to get an outside perspective, so that I’m not beating myself up in the process of trying to stay sane throughout all of the work-related madness. I work in digital marketing, so this field is very demanding, but it’s so fun and I honestly love it, so I’m trying my best to make my professional dreams work for me, all while maintaining balance in some way that is healthy.
I say all of this to say, that I know so many of us struggle with anxiety, but we don’t always feel the need to let others into our problems (friends, family members, therapists), and that’s OKAY! Don’t ever feel forced to release these feelings. However, I do think that after experiencing all of this recently, it is SO important to seek an outside opinion if you feel you’re reaching the point where you are getting in your own way. Meaning, your thoughts become feelings, and your feelings and emotions can have a huge impact on the way you see and move throughout life, so it’s important to feel that you have a handle on that in some way. This is just my perspective, so I am now exploring the idea of trying out therapy. (Feel free to share recommendations with me! I have absolutely no idea where to start to be honest)
Either way, I am starting off this New Year feeling very good about what the future holds. I am pushing through with an “Abundance Mindset“, and each day I give thanks for all of my blessings while saying my affirmations, so I am READY for all of the positive, new, *perfectly aligned, opportunities that are on their way to me. I just want to continuously express the highest level of gratitude to my parents, my ancestors, and my spirit guides, as well as the YOUniverse (Divine Ruler/Creator/God), for all that I have, and all that is on its way to me.
Cheers to a happy new year, a successful 2021, filled with nothing but perfectly aligned opportunities that will ultimately lead with my purpose and instill happiness within me, as I give back to the collective in some way*.
How is 2021 treating you so far?
If you’ve made it this far down on this post, thanks for coming through! I seriously appreciate it when anyone reads my blog, so this is my personal thanks to YOU! Take care of yourself*
It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but it feels great to be writing again!
This time, I’m diving into a personal experience that my girlfriend (and our puppy Lucky) shared at the Getaway House in the Catskills, NY. It was Ah-MAY-Zing, okay! Amazing.
Last weekend, we had the opportunity to experience a TRUE tiny cabin experience. In the woods, surrounded by nature, no distractions, just us! It was absolutely magical. I had been researching the Getaway House for about a year prior to us actually making it out there, so when Sarina’s 32nd birthday was approaching, I thought this would be a great way to spend it! She loved it, and I’m so happy, because that’s all I wanted, was for her to enjoy the experience.
We stayed in our tiny cabin for 2 nights, 3 days. If you’re considering booking a trip, here’s the step-by-step breakdown of what to expect (below). First thing’s first, I definitely recommend checking out the site thoroughly to review their FAQs and packing list so that you are prepared. Browse the site for locations you might be interested in traveling to, and book your experience (it’s pretty straightforward once you visit the site).
Also, honey you’ve GOTTA love nature, because you’re basically tucked in a cute and cozy pocket nestled deep within the woods (most likely, depending on your location site, and it is very dark and quiet at night, so be prepared and enjoy it 🙂
So What Happens If I Book My Trip?
You get an email which is basically your invoice and summary of trip
The Resources For Your Stay can also be found within your email confirmation (this includes details around provisions, what you can find near your outpost, and ultimately what to expect/what to pack, etc.)
Final Notification 1: A few days before your trip, you should receive another email that provides your Cabin Name, Exact Location of Getaway Site for GPS, and Road Location. You can download your OutPost Map (which is helpful if you lose service, and that’s quite alright 😉 You also get your key code which locks your cabin door. Safe & Secure.
Final Notification 2: On the Day Of Your Trip you’ll get a friendly check-in time reminder text message from on of the getaway site reps. This is basically a reminder of things you should already know if you read the emails. (They let you know when the cabin will be prepared for you to check-in. They also remind you of all of the careful and cautious measures they’re taking to ensure your cabin is clean and sanitized thoroughly as it’s being prepared)
Get There & Enjoy Yo Self – Dassit (Go in on that Smores Kit, sis!)
Final Notification 3: You get another text reminder regarding check-out time. Just head back home after that
One of my sorority sisters reached out, and asked if I thought it was really worth it, and I told her yes! It’s really intimate, and relaxing. Nature is one of my favorite attractions, so this hit the spot, since I’ve basically been inside of my apartment working, since March and haven’t really traveled the way I’ve really want to. With the cellphone lock box in your room, there’s little to no communication with others (unless you want there to be), and the beautiful site you will see through that large window when the sun rises, is everything honestly.
So yes, I would highly recommend, if I haven’t already said that multiple times in my vlog review lol. Feel free to send me a message if you’d like to ask me more questions about the getaway house experience. It will be different in every location, my experience took place in upstate NY and I enjoyed it very much. I’m also very interested in doing more staycation-type, interesting (limited contact) getaway experiences, so if anyone has recommendations, please do share!
Thanks for coming this far down on my post, and checking out my little writeup on the weekend my widdle family and I spent glamping in a tiny cabin. It was truly magical, word to my muddy boots.
Spend some time relaxing at some point if you can. It’s so important to unravel the tension and unwind. If you can’t be present in stillness, getaway and see if that helps. I felt rejuvenated.
It’s that time again… Every once in a much needed while, I decide when it’s necessary for me to take a social media break. A ‘social time-out’ or ‘pause’ if you will. Most recently I’ve felt that this break was definitely needed. Today is Sunday, and after a day jam packed full of adulting, I decided to do absolutely nothing with my girlfriend… Because self care, and on this day of relaxation, I found the need to write about what it means to remove yourself from the *other ‘social atmosphere’. Sometimes you just HAVE to unplug🔌
Yesterday I spent the majority of my day at the motor vehicle service agency. I actually went to 2 different locations, because I realized the first location I went to was suddenly no longer taking registration renewals (which is what I came for). In all fairness, I was prepared lol. However, there was a lesson learned that I think applies to many of us 20/30Somethings:
We must continue to remind ourselves that we have to adapt to any and every situation we face in life. Remember to flow through and take what comes gracefully. That way you effectively manage your balance in the moment, and manifest ideal outcomes
So as I previously stated, Saturday morning I went to the first motor vehicle station. Stood on line for nearly 3 hours, to find out that they were not doing registration renewals that day…
…Drove out 30 minutes or so to the next motor vehicle service station and waited for about another 3 hours in multiple lines — but I renewed my registration! I also managed to get my inspection done, and passed❤️. I people watched quite a bit, and it was such a funny/interesting experience (because I haven’t had much face-to-face group interaction in a whiiiile). I don’t know why, but Riding Dirty by Chamillionaire kept playing in my head all day. Saturday, Adulting at its finest.
Responsibilities aka Sponserberleries
Going back to ‘social distancing’ — Most recently I’ve been focusing on taking better care of myself, from all angles. With this in mind, I thought it might help to put a bit of a pause on social media. Time spent, needs to be limited when you’re just checking the same apps over and over again, too frequently, and dealing with Real Life Sh*t all at once (we need to be present). I’ve also been working on awareness, so social media breaks are necessary, since they’re easy distractions, and gateways to content rabbit holes 🕳 . One minute you’re reading an article on Vanity Fair, the next, you’re looking at a vlogger’s 5th conspiracy theory video on YouTube.
The other day, I got on one of the social apps I browse through often, and saw that someone posted negative hate comments regarding the lgbtq+ community under one of the photos posted of my girlfriend and I. Of course I deleted the comments and blocked the account, but I just thought to myself “What the hell is wrong with some people?”
I personally feel that with everything going on in the world right now… All of the heavy societal issues, on top of personal life and work responsibilities… Adapting to life during a pandemic, all during a moment that will change the course of this nation for the next 4 years, coupled with all of the other pressures 2020 has place upon everyone in the world… It was just time to disconnect.
What I love about social media, is its unique way of bringing information to people while also building likeminded connections and networks. I also love its ability to develop a space for people to create and share artistic ways of expression, using a variety of platforms to highlight important topics. The information well is endless! However I’ve learned, that by checking Twitter, Insta, Facebook (pick your poison), too often, this results in Information Overload.
Sometimes you have to silence the “socials”
Many people temporarily deactivate their accounts, delete the apps, and come back to them when they’re ready. I simply just don’t open them up until a decent amount of time has passed, and that’s what I’ve been doing these past few weeks. I’ve been trying to stay present. I do have to admit, that I pop on Twitter here and there, and have obviously started this draft on WordPress, so I haven’t eliminated outreach content completely (writer’s problems I suppose). However, there’s a certain energy that comes with some of the other apps that are mainly for Show & Tell. You know the ones…
I needed a break, so I took one. Not sure when I’ll be back on and in tune with what’s trending, but for now, I’d like to stay present and aware of my surroundings. I’m also focusing on staying healthy, working on mindfulness and the thoughts I tell myself within each and every moment. I’ve been very involved in caring for our plants, writing when I feel the urge to, painting recently which was fun, and exploring nature when I’m able to.
To be completely honest and transparent, I’ve had to reel myself back in to get it together and focus on my peace. Stress is never healthy, and it can have impacts on you in many ways, so I’ve been making more time for me. Taking any breaks that I can from anything that’s overexerting my energy, doing more of what makes me happy, listening to myself (and being aware of the narrative), I’ve even given myself a hug, because I can be very hard on myself — but I’m working on that.
I swore I wasn’t going to get political in this post, but I’ve been watching the ‘dueling town halls’ and election debates that have been airing recently, and I can’t believe we’re actually here, but we are. With everything going on in the senate, and attempts being made to roll back progress on how far we’ve come with human rights… It’s upsetting. Right now, we run the risk of women losing their personal right to choice in regards to reproductive rights.
The LGBTQ+ community is on edge, as many of us are planning to get married and build beautiful families with our partners.. With certain laws and rights taken away from us, we run the risk of A: Putting our future plans on hold -or- B: Just doing away with those plans entirely 😩.. This is so discouraging and unsettling, because we deserve the right to live our lives and build our families, without government officials standing in the way of that.
Yet the current state of power and potential redirection of rights, suggests that we could be at risk of losing a lot of what we’ve fought so hard for… This is why we have to do all that we can to collectively come together to make sure our voices are heard. We need positive change with effective action and a side of justice (heavy on the justice). Don’t even get me started on the electoral (what year is this?) college… I’ve said this before, but this all feels like we’re watching a bad reality show, that you can’t turn off, and yet — this is real life. Yet again, there is still so much to be grateful for.
We just have to make the absolute best of each and every moment in life, because everyone’s journey is different, and your problems could be minuscule, in comparison to someone else dealing with different challenges. I have had many moments of gratitude throughout each day. I vocally give thanks for all of the blessings in my life, and when I’m dealing with moments of creeping anxiety, I light palo santo, take a few deep breaths, relax my shoulders and my eyebrows, and calm my mind for clarity before changing the channel.
Writing is very therapeutic for me, so it helps. My girlfriend is also freaking ah-MAY-zing, and has been so loving and supportive, as I ride through these emotions 🎢 . She’s riding with me through it all, and I’m so grateful for the beautiful energy she continues to bring into my life. This Tuesday there’s going to be a meteor shower, so we’re planning to watch it. I’m excited for that. I also would LOVE to REALLY unplug and go off the grid with Babe. Away in a beautiful woodsy area, preferably by a lake tucked in a cute little autumn foliage vibe filled forest.
We have something planned for her birthday. A tiny home in upstate New York in the woods. We can’t wait! I plan to blog about it when we get back🧡. It’s going to be the getaway we need, although I’m yearning for something that we can do sooner. So many people have been traveling to other countries, I guess before Miss Rona gets worse? (We’re also starting to see spikes in certain parts of the country) I’m not sure we’re quite there yet, ready to travel outside of the country that is. I’ll have to feel a lot more reassured before making a traveling move like that any time soon.
For now I’m focused on my peace, mental and physical health, finding my balance, maintaining awareness and/or mindfulness, and surrounding myself with *Only The Good Things.
This was truly a lazy Sunday. I loved absolutely everything about it. I’m so very grateful. Cherish the day✨
If you’ve happened to come through and make it all the way down this post, thank you so much for reading! Stay safe. Be kind to yourself. Make it a habit to pause anything that’s draining your energy and care for YOU, whatever that may look like: Meditation, going for a run, cooking, artistic creation, caring for your plants, journaling…
Have a wonderful week.
Affirmation: This will be a great week. I will navigate through each and every moment gracefully. I will control my storyline by paying attention to the narrative, and by making the best decisions for me. Taking the time I need to, when I need to. All is well.
In the wonderful words of Diana Ross — “I’m coming OUT!” Happy Saturday, from my little office nook. I want to give a big virtual hug and hello to my LGBTQ+ family!! This week is #BiWeek or Bisexual Awareness Week, and although many of us have been pretty distant when it comes to social gatherings in 2020, because COVID, a significant amount of us are still celebrating in our own way and bringing awareness to this week, virtually.
So what is BiWeek anyway???...
GLAAD provides great definition and context around this week of awareness. The actual day of recognition is September 23, but each year from 9/16 through 9/23 we celebrate, support, and highlight the history and importance of those within the bisexual community. Resource centers and publications such as GLAAD and Out Magazine have used their platform to truly shine a light on the community from historical milestones, to the current battles bisexual men and women face within the community, as it relates to owning their sexuality – I am one of them!…
MY STORY --- to make a long story short (If I can, because I'm chatty lol)
My mother has always been sexually fluid, so I grew up within the LGBTQ+ community since I was about 3 years old, and she was always very open with me about her sexuality, so I never questioned it or judged her negatively (some of my most pleasant memories growing up, were spent surrounded by those within the LGBTQ+ family). So yeah, I get it from my mama!
Fast forward to my earlier 20s, I had always been attracted to women and men, but had only been in romantic relationships with men up until about 20yrs old. Maybe I secretly just thought that every woman had that level of appreciation for the beauty of other women —but just not all, in a romantic way (if that even makes sense). So I started dating my first girlfriend around this age. I’d say it was about the time I noticed myself getting extra cute/ready in the mirror before hangin out with her, that I realized I had more of an attraction for her in a romantic way versus just platonic friendship.
I basically came out to my mother in a car ride, when I told her I was beginning to like someone.. a girl. She knew who that girl was, and when I told her we were in a relationship, she was not surprised at all — haha! She basically drew the assumption that we were dating before I even told her (I was spending so much time with the girl, and she was already out, so this was an idea she already developed in her mind, before I even spoke to her). I didn’t feel weird at all telling my mother, because she had always been so open with me about her sexuality, so acceptance came in the form of her just hugging me and smiling. I came out to my father about 2 years ago, officially. He is also very accepting, and loves my current girlfriend (which I couldn’t be more happier about).
I know that there are so many other women and men in our community that do not receive the same level of understanding from their parents/loved ones when they come out, so I am very grateful for these moments. I’m also very grateful for the level of awareness that this week brings. So many of us can take this time to educate ourselves, and receive support in a variety of ways (support groups, LGBTQ+ led events/hotlines, articles etc.)
Wow I said this was going to be short, OK!
Fast forward once more — That relationship didn’t work out, and after riding the struggle bus on and off for about 3-4 years with my first girlfriend, I literally swore off lesbian relationships! It was great until it was TOXIC af, to sum it up. Many of us have been there, and we’re not proud, but it is what it is. I had a lot of healing to do after that relationship crashed and burned. I was single (dating men only) on and off for about 10 years. Yes, I was dating, but there were moments when I just wanted to be left alone, and not even date at all, and work on myself.
After a few hopeful thoughts and potential ideas (these are the men I dated), my single self was just randomly browsing my instagram story one day, and I viewed my (now girlfriend) crush’s story — she was using a kitty filter, and she looked SO freaking cute. I slid in the DM, as the kids say, and the rest was history! Sarina is her name, she’s literally my FORVER, my person, my twin flame, my best friend, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. This is about to sound very cheesy, but you know how they say, “You meet that one person and you just KNOW instantly why it didn’t work out with anyone else”? This statement is SO true!!
I’ve known her since high school, and we’ve always flirted with each other (innocently) in the past, but the universe had plans for us to go and grow through other things in life as individuals, before we were meant to meet up again and connect at the right time. We really feel strongly about divine timing!
Many people don’t like labels, I’m one of them. I’d like to think I’m just very open to loving who I love #LoveisLove. Whoever that may be in that moment, Man, Woman, Indya Moore (crushing since Pose, she’s so cute). To me, love is an experience and a feeling, not a definition of who I am. I give love to anyone I feel deserves it, because the energy is reciprocated.
Shoutout to all of my Transexuals, Pansexuals, Bisexuals, Lesbians, Gays, and Non-Binary Gender Non-Confirming family out there. You are who you are, you love who you love, and we are a community that does not define that, as the boundaries are nonexistent here. This is why many bisexual people feel shamed when it comes to being out fully, as men and women are often judged harshly, seen as promiscuous, or portrayed in a light that makes them look indecisive when it comes to their sexuality. This is an unfair mentality, it especially hurts when it comes from those within the LGBTQ+ community (because it does happen). We are people of the rainbow, and we come in all sorts of colors, shapes, sizes, styles, and at the end of the day #LOVEWINS.
Let’s celebrate love this week!
If you’ve happened to make it down this far, thanks for stopping by and reading My Coming Out Story. If you’re an ally, I hope you can take this time to educate yourself on the community of people who Love who they Love, as they deserve to be accepted too!
Thinking the reason you were approached by men in blue, is because you are brown.
Feeling your heart plummet into your left vapor max sneaker while driving, because you saw the boys pull out behind you on Rte. 80 — God Speed
Black Thoughts are:
Dealing with collective trauma that’s rooted in racial inequality..
Entirely — The reason we still carry the weight of this country’s BS on our backs and Possibly..
The purposeful negative impact placed on black people, hidden through countless, various ways..
Seeing the videos, reading the posts.. We are exhausted by these images, and there is nothing left to say. There is literally a new hashtag created for our brothers and sisters, every single day..
Over the years, my people have been distracted, but now we’re awake..
The miseducation & depicted perception, will not be our downfall — This systemic narrative has been out of DATE.
PSA: We’re coming together in EVERY state, and our hearts are united by love & faith.
…Intergenerational trauma is real. While living through a pandemic, we’ve been expected to get on with life and Just Deal…
I hope you are doing the necessary work to feel the feelings in each moment, take action, and actually HEAL in the process — God Bless
Deep within our thoughts, we must find the things that make us happy and bring us joy..
Black Joy is:
Taking care of yourself and taking the time that you need for you to feel your best
Spending time doing what you love, being around who you love, and saying F’ the rest!
Letting go, and laughing every moment you can
Hugging your family closer, and spending time to catch-up with your friends
Striving for greatness and thriving. Supporting and caring for our children, women, and men
Black Joy is:
That warm hug you can only get from your grandmother
That feeling of butterflies 🦋 amplifying the vibe, when you connect with your lover
A Mother — her power is out of this world. Her temple, giving the gift of a child, with every newborn baby boy and girl
Black Joy is:
The refreshing level of authenticity in every new, enriching connection made
The calm floating in a breeze, followed by the coolness under a willow tree’s shade
A Father — Sharing his knowledge and valuable wisdom. Followed by the genuine laughter his family brings him, as they sit down and rejoice in their blackity black-black kingdom 👑
Black Thoughts are heavy, but we must not suppress them. Instead, let any bouts of frustration, depression, and aggression be a lesson. Stay focused. We are all fighting the long fight for racial equality and True Progression
Let us transcend this energy, come together for greater change, and do things our ancestors would be proud of.
In any moment we can grasp, make sure that you drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, relax your forehead muscles and *Find Love.
I haven’t written poetry in a while, so if you’ve happened to make it down this far, thanks for coming through!
I enjoy writing about things that are meaningful to me, and in this moment (with so much on my mind), I’ve just found solace in all of the little things that bring me joy during these heavy and uncertain times.
This weekend, I had a Girl’s Night with my best friend and my girlfriend. We dedicated an entire Saturday to just catching up, vibing on the couch, sipping rosé, and munching on appetizers.
By now, I’m sure you’ve already heard about Beyoncé’s new visual album Black Is King. This is only available, currently, on Disney+. It was released on Friday July 31st, 2020. If you’re like me, and have already subscribed to multiple streaming services, and don’t want to tac another one onto the bill, I HIGHLY recommend asking a family member to borrow their credentials for this one moment — TRUST me, you NEED to see this! I’m sharing the trailer below, because it’s only right that you preview this:
To provide some background on this, for those who don’t follow Beyoncé closely, this visual album was created using the songs she released for the album: The Lion King: The Gift. This project was rolled out to directly align with the animated film, The Lion King, which Beyoncé had a huge contribution in playing the voice of Nala. The Queen Bey herself, did an impeccable job using this visual production, Black is King, as a platform to not only share her artistic gifts with us in conjunction with those who helped her finalize this masterpiece — BUT this is literally the definition of storytelling!
The film is about 1 hour and 25 minutes long — I laughed, I cried, I smiled, I wrote about it on Instagram.
She blew me away with the direct connection to the storyline of The Lion King film. She replicated so many beautiful African inspired looks, hairstyles, dances, and just truly rooted the visual experience in Black culture. It made us SO Proud To Be Black🖤. She flipped it and told the story we needed to hear and see today within the Black community — *The Messages.
“I’m so happy to be Black!”
Chelsea Rawls, My Best Friend
She uses sound clips from the film, and establishes a beautiful visual storyboard from start to finish which includes many many celestial, spiritual, uplifting, powerful images, and I was in awe — FLOORED sis! The musical masterpiece includes looks that are out of this world —A *Mood and then some.
The impact of the character in focus equates to that of Simba in comparison, if we must compare. The child is King. She reminds him that he will have to meet himself again, to remember who he is, as his ancestors hold their power, reminding him of his in this universal moment we tap into. We appreciate the Black Woman who has colored this earth with so many different shades of melanin. We shine a light on them, and tie in every aspect of womanhood, motherhood, manhood, fatherhood, childhood, the identification of Self, and having pride in who we are!
Part of the Black experience for this young man is going/growing through moments of Struggle, Challenge, Reward, Discernment, and Wisdom. It’s so beautiful to watch. We focus on Black Men, Black Women, Black Love, Black Daughters, Mothers, Fathers, Family.
I’m not too certain of this thought, but I do believe Ms. Solange had a part to play in the setting development of some scenes (and I just want to say ‘thank you’). This project features celebrities such as Lupita Nyong’o, Naomi Campbell, Tierra Whack, Jessie Reyez, Burna Boy. She also includes her family, and those scenes were very beautiful. Ms Tina and Kelly Rowland are slaying per usual, Jay-Z makes an appearance with his feature on one of the songs (loved their ‘King & Queen moment’). There are just so many cameos that are truly perfect in the sequence of the storyline.
….I just need to get to the LEWKS really quick and then I plan to wrap this up in less than 1 min, so stick around for the GAG honey (if you haven’t watched it yet). I JUST —
This woman is magical. This content is SO powerful. I literally feel like she screamed:
“WAKE UP Y’ALL! OKAY GOOD, NOW THAT YOU’RE WOKE, DON’T FORGET THE POWER YOU HOLD. WE BRING PURPOSE TO THIS WORLD, REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE AND HARNESS THAT STRENGTH”
There was one statement she made, I can’t remember precisely, but I believe she said something along the lines of “Happiness — as pure as the smile on your father’s face”, and it really hit me to the core. So deep… when we think about the stereotypes of Black men, and the relationship they have with their emotions (especially older men from older generations, like our fathers and grandfathers)
The powerful words recited within the poetry she selected for this, and the spoken word performance clips she incorporated, were just absolutely amazing. The SHOTS, the COLORS (contrast and angles) STUNNING I tell you! I live, and I truly LOVE what Beyonce is doing for the culture.
She continues to amaze us with her ability to captivate the world at the grandest of levels, with a voice that’s covered in the godliest of melodies. WE TALKING RANGE? There is no competition, she created this lane, and I love that she is building an empire with her husband to then pass this wealth of knowledge down to their children. I just know Blue Ivy is going to do great things years from now, and the rest of her kids will go on to make their parents proud.
This is not only Black excellence folks, this is a wake up call to understand the power we possess, a reminder of what we bring to this world, a celebration of our people, and overall just a BEAUTIFUL body of work. I truly hope that every Black person, men especially, find some time to watch this. I hope you get a chance to watch this too girl, and if you have to bite that $6.99/mth bullet to get there, I understand.
If you’ve made it down this far, I just want to thank you for taking the time to read my post.
I’m sitting under the full moon, charging our crystal, and sipping on some libations this evening as I write this. If you were born in the 80’s (maybe 90s) I really think you’ll enjoy disney+, I mean — I watched 101 Dalmatians, Fantasia, and Cinderella all in one sitting today with my girlfriend, so I’m a fan lol. Note to Self Below
This Week’s Affirmations: Stay centered, when you must — find your balance and let go of what you can’t control. Remain productive, but also take time for yourself and do the things you love. Spend time with the ones you love. Love on yourself. Give thanks for all blessings, and continue to walk the righteous path in front of you, living for a higher purpose and power through every experience (with awareness in mind). End the week on a *solid and *satisfying note.
I hope you have a good week. Don’t forget to say your affirmations, sis!