A 30something who has many many thoughts on life, love, and taking control of your career! I also rant about things that I'm passionate about, and will occasionally dabble in what's going on in the world. I write poetry, paint, and love hiking with my girlfriend. I'm all about keeping your zen, finding balance, and spreading love and positivity.
There are so many changes we're facing as a society in the world these days, so I just want to write about them!
Love & Light! -Tati
Hoping you’ve had a great day, week, and most importantly through these crazy times — I hope you’re keeping a level head, and doing the things that make YOU feel good, that ultimately keep you balanced.
We’ve seen a lot these past few months! I’ve written about the current state of society, covering topics like racial inequality, and I’ve also touched on topics that have hit a little closer to home regarding injustice. Today, I wanted to take some time to highlight something that is very personal and important to me: Growing Up Afro-Latina. I’m so very grateful to have a mother that is Dominican and to have a father that is African-American. Over the last 32 years, I’ve experienced both cultures on both sides of my immediate family. My girlfriend Sarina also has a similar, yet different experience growing up Afro-Latina, being Native American Black and Puerto Rican.
You’re probably like, “Native-What?” lol It will make more sense, when you watch this video:
One weekend when my girlfriend and I went on a quick getaway to a cute little town in PA, we found ourselves having a conversation at the Air BnB that we stayed in and it was so eye opening. Although Sarina and I can relate to a lot regarding ethnic stereotypical situations we’ve been in, and perspectives directly tied to our upbringing growing up in the community we’re from — This conversation revealed a lot of differences as well. In this video, we talk about cultural misconceptions, the sensitive topic of colorism, Afro-Latina Representation, and positive change that we’ve seen within our community. “Mixed Girls” face a lot of challenges growing up, and don’t always realize how it impacts their self identity until they actually OWN who they are as adults, and can speak to their own individual experiences.
I really enjoyed having this conversation with my girlfriend. I hope to write about, and have more discussions around topics like this, that are important to me.
If you’ve happened to stop by, thanks for coming through!
Feel free to comment, and share perspective if you can relate to some of the things we talk about in this video.
I’ve been so busy with my girlfriend getting settled into our new apartment, that I haven’t really had a day to just focus on ME. Today was all about relaxation and rejuvenation! Woke up late, had a cup of coffeewith toast (strawberry jam on the side), cuddled up on the couch, shampooed, deep conditioned my hair, and did two face masks — NO GAMES were played today, okay? I also prepped the tub for a Sunday bath, because I DESERVE! You deserve too sis, I hope you did something 100% dedicated to your happiness and wellness today — *stay balanced.
Going back to my Self Care Sunday routine, I wanted to put the Black Own Business Spotlight on Mane by Maltbia!
Mrs. Maltbia-Burgess owns Mane by Maltbia, a line of natural hair care products devoted to growth and nourished healthy hair. I was fortunate enough to connect with her on Instagram (make sure you follow: @manebymatlbia), and it was through the power of social media, that I found out about her FABulous products. First thing I thought to myself, upon meeting her was “Wow! She has beautiful hair”, so you know I had to try out her Hair Growth Accelerator Serum.
This lightweight oil, simulates the scalp, nourishes your hair follicles, and I have to mention that it smells SO GOOD, and I mean that! My girlfriend actually tried it first, after leaving the beach one day, she applied the hair serum to her scalp and to the ends of her hair — I seriously could not stop smelling her locs. She loves it, so naturally I couldn’t wait to wash my hair and try it for myself. Once I did, I was blown away by the results and by the way it made my hair feel (super soft)! You can either apply this serum to your scalp, or on the ends of your hair to restore and retain moisture, while simultaneously stimulating your hair follicles. I am a curly gurl, so after washing my hair, I applied the oil to my scalp as well as running it through my curls, and concentrated on my ends while it was still damp.
I also use Miss Jessie’s Honey Curls, so after applying this to my hair for definition, I felt that I had fully saturated it, and I let my mane air dry. My girlfriend, walked by and asked me to put some in her hair as well, because I told you girl — it smells GOOD! The best part about this product, is that it uses 100% natural ingredients, such as coconut oil, almond oil, and Vitamin E (check out this link if you’d like to learn more about the organic ingredients within this product). Either way, I am very happy with this hair oil, and I just had to share this Self Care Sunday Secret to all of my ladies out there who just want to give their locs a little extra love.
Shop the Liquid Gold Collection, and get FREE Shipping on orders over $50. Support Black-Owned Businesses, and spread the word, because this product is everything! Also, check out the Mane by Maltbia site for more fabulous products.
If you’ve happened to stop by, thank you so much for coming through!
Support Black-Owned Businesses, Black Artists, Writers, Creators, and Entrepreneurs!
Okay, after Insecure ended, my girlfriend and I were on the hunt for a new show to complete our Sunday evening fix, but there was nothing really on at the time… We did hear about and see trailers for “I May Destroy You” which airs on HBO/HBOMax on Mondays at 9ET. This new jaw dropping, thought provoking, show is starring and directed by actress and comedian Michaela Coel who plays Arabella. To be honest, I didn’t feel compelled to check it out at first because I didn’t really know what it was about… The trailers just gave you a taste, but let me tell you, they had me at blood clot!…
If you’re reading this, you’re probably like “what? blood clot?”, unless of course, you’ve watched it. This show starts off like a blank canvas. You meet the main character, and dive straight into her quirkinesses. You learn that she is a writer, a beautiful black Ghanian woman who lives in a flat with roommates in London, and she basically moves with the flow of life on her own accord. She’s dealing with a long distance love connection, but you don’t really get into how that whole thing even got started until like episode 3 ( I want to say…)
Fast forward >> this girl PARTIES, okay!
Her Story: The main tipping point for me that really sucked me into commitment was when you learn that she has absolutely no recollection of the night before, when she met up with a friend and woke up the next day with a gash above her eye, bruises on her body, and a cracked phone screen… Like WHAT?!
[TRIGGER WARNING – SENSITIVE CONTENT] Throughout the next few episodes, you are taken on a wild ride while she tries to piece the night together. She hops in and out of alarming flashbacks that bring her back to that night. A lot of these memories have to do with a moment she recalls in one of the bathroom stalls in the club she was in. Unfortunately, she was raped but she can’t identify who the man is. As Arabella is picking up the pieces, she reaches out to one of her guy friends, actually the guy she initially met up with before going into the club. I should also mention — someone slipped her something, so that, on top of a hard night of partying, just resulted in a bunch of chaos.
Arabella visits the friend’s place (a guy, who apparently is in an open relationship with a woman who is also there as she arrives), and she proceeds to ask “what exactly happened last night?” He seems to be clueless, on the important facts that she needs, to get some sort of idea of what happened to her the night before. The girlfriend calls him out on a lie, which makes him super suspicious..
Arabella leaves and heads over to visit a woman who is actually the 3rd in this open relationship, that I mentioned previously.. That didn’t go well, but it’s obvious that those two were involved in some shady business (the couple, that is), because she also was present at the night of this crazy experience. Arabella takes an uber and flees the apartment complex, still on a mission to figure the whole thing out.
There are 2 other very important characters in the story.
First of all, let me just say that I love their friendship. They’re just a very cute pair, and you can tell that Terry cares a lot about Arabella. Terry is an aspiring actress who unfortunately, also has an unwanted sexual experience that she recalls while in Italy staying with Arabella during a work trip (she does not share this with her best friend).
Her Story: [TRIGGER WARNING — SENSITIVE CONTENT] She was walking to their flat, and 2 men saw her, pretended they didn’t know each other, and pursued her. At the end of their steamy ‘evening’, she realizes what she thought was a moment based on full consent, which took place between 3 strangers, was actually a sneaky and calculated plot to get Terry in bed with them. Horrible, I know.
I want to touch on Kwame as well, before I finish this post up, because his story is also one that really had me like
His Story: [TRIGGER WARNING – SENSITIVE CONTENT] Kwame is an aerobics instructor. He is a man, who spends his time browsing the Grindr app to find new fleeting love interests, whenever he feels like he’s in the mood for something ‘new’. Although he doesn’t seem to want anything serious, Kwame is approached by one of his students, who basically reveals his love for him, but he’s under the impression that he just wants to have a good time. They get together, and meetup at a guy’s house (he met this man on Grindr), the love interest is not feeling this ‘experimental’ situation, and decides he wants to leave (I don’t think that’s the last we’ll see of him though). After he leaves, Kwame is ready to head out, but the “Grindr” guy doesn’t let him. He actually forces him down on the bed and proceeds to violate him.
Kwame reports it to the police after going down to the station to support Arabella with her case (as she is now meeting with the detectives to solve this), but the officer makes him feel embarrassed by the whole thing. He sends him home and basically tells him there’s nothing he can do about it. I know, it’s terrible. He was able to muster up all of this courage, to share his experience in order to free himself of this pain and the officer refused to help. It was almost as if the cop thought he would catch the cooties/germs from him or something. (Kwame started to tell Arabella, but decided not to share this with anyone, as he feels so ashamed)
Pivoting to Arabella.. She has been informed that the cops have a lead, and need to investigate further into her long distance love interest, to cross all T-s and dot all I-s (she has not shared any of this with him by the way)… Fast Forward again –> Arabella OUTS a guy who tried to have sex with her and remove his condom, putting him on blast in front of MANY people at a writers event she was invited to. LOVED that scene. This is also considered rape too, and I loved the fact that this new show is putting so much out there. As opinionated as we are, these topics surrounding rape are filled with so many perspectives, when it comes to factoring in things like consent, sexual preference/stereotypes, and gender roles, so I am actually really glad that this show is breaking ground — because it should!
I didn’t want to spend too much time on each of the episodes, because I don’t want to spoil the entire thing for you (if you’ve made it down this far), but episode 6 airs tonight, so I hope you can catch up girl because it’s getting really intense!
If you’ve happened to stop by and read this post, thanks for coming through!
Please feel free to leave a comment if you’ve watched “I May Destroy You”, and have your own thoughts/perspectives you’d like to share on the jaw dropping storyline that is shaking the table!
I am LIVING for and LOVING this Black Girl Magic, OK!
Over the weekend, I received sad news about my sorority sister, Marileidy “Mari” Morel. She passed away last Saturday, July 4th during the evening in Fairfield, CT while walking her dog.
As I woke up to read the text I received in the middle of the night, I was so shocked by the information my sister shared with me. I had found out that Mari was in a car accident that evening, and did not make it. She was only 32 years old. As I write this post, I find my sadness growing, because this was such a horrible thing that happened to such a beautiful spirit.
Mari and I pledged for Omega Phi Chi (Multicultural) Sorority, Inc. during our freshman/sophomore year in college, we both crossed into an amazing sisterhood and attended Montclair State Univeristy. She was my chapter sister (Mu Chapter), and although we weren’t as close as some of my other sisters while pledging, I have very fond memories of her as a Neo, and as a younger sister back in 2008-2010. Mari pledged a semester before me. I remember feeling so comforted by her warm spirit as she would always light up a room with her caring and positive energy as soon as she walked in.
Over the years, we haven’t seen each other as much as I would’ve liked, because life gets in the way at times, but I’d like to hold on to the memories of her that are still with me. She was definitely one of the kindest, supportive people I’ve come in contact with at MSU, and I am so proud to be her sister (even if not by blood/DNA). She was such a genuinely nice person.
It is important that I mention, that this is a Hit and Run investigation. The vehicle is believed to be a Dark Green Jeep Wrangler. Damage to the vehicle is likely to be in the front right portion of the jeep. A clear marker lens was recovered at the scene.
I, like my other sisters are hurting right now, because her beautiful soul was taken from us too soon. She had plans for her future, and the driver of the SUV took that away from her. I just really hope her family can find justice, because they deserve it! SHE deserves it.
As mentioned above, this is actively being investigated by the Fairfield CT police. If you can please share this with anyone you know, on your socials/online/etc. that would help tremendously, as information would aid in identifying the driver of this vehicle.
Anonymous tips may be submitted by texting “FPD” plus your tip info to CRIMES (274637), or by going to http://www.fpdct.com/tips
Anyone with information can also call the Fairfield police department at (203) 254-4800 OR, if you are able to provide surveillance video, you can contact Sgt. Michael Paris at (203) 254-4862.
Rest in Paradise Mari*
The vehicle of the person responsible for my sister’s hit and run has been identified, as well as the man behind the wheel. My sisters and I were all very happy to hear that this man was found and taken into custody. This is what we’ve learned so far:
DECLAN P. KOT, AGE 22, OF EASTON is charged with:
Misconduct with a Motor Vehicle (Class D Felony)
Evading Responsibility in Operating a Motor Vehicle Resulting in Death
Failure to Drive in Proper Lane
Operating a Motor Vehicle without Fenders
Tampering with Evidence
Operation of a Motor Vehicle with Tinted Windows without Tinting Sticker
Operation of Vehicle with Tinted Windshield
This man, a firefighter, has been charged with 7 offenses but I personally feel that this is not enough. I can’t find the article, but there is a separate incident which took place this same weekend, (hit and run) resulting in the same outcome unfortunately. However, this man was not well connected within the community, and is faced with a list of charges that are much more severe (not to mention his bail was much higher). I do not work in law enforcement/have not studied law, but I can confidently say that this deserves more attention. He is expected to arrive in court this Wednesday 7/15 in Fairfield, CT to receive his ruling.
My sisters are doing all that they can to make sure that Mari and her family receive the justice they deserve! If you have read/shared this post, please find more information below on updated ways that you can help:
Today Mari was laid to rest, and although I was unable to attend, I met up with my sisters last week to celebrate Mari and it was a beautiful moment.
We’ve moved into our new place! As of 7/1, we’ve been able to finally rest in our new apartment. Sarina and I have been moving around nonstop — putting things in storage, donating, buying new things, building furniture… and it has been an AH-MAY-ZING experience. We are so grateful for this opportunity, and to begin this new journey. I just keep saying “thank you”, because gratitude is so important to me.
Sarina put our an entire couch, 4 bar stools, desk, and TV stand together these past few days. Needless to say, there’s literally nothing she can’t do. I’m so very grateful for her, we’re going through the whole settling process together and she’s made it so much easier for us to get things done. Our mothers have also been a HUGE help in getting us settled. It sounds corny, but teamwork Really makes the dream work. We would still be unpacking boxes if it weren’t for them ❤
For now, I think we’ve taken care of all of the major aspects of the apartment — except for.. the bedroom. The kitchen is good to go, living room is almost fully setup (with the exception of one piece of furniture that’s still being delivered), but the current state of the bedroom furniture when it come to the actual delivery process, just makes me sigh and roll my eyes…
– Computer, desk, and WiFi are all setup.
– Mattress was delivered
– 2 parts of the bed frame have just completely disappeared… The warehouse cannot find them, so now they’ve put a replacement order in, expediting the delivery, but have stated that it likely won’t get delivered until late July sometime…
– The dresser is not getting delivered until around the same time I believe (perhaps even August, these dates keep changing), so right now we’ve just been living out of boxes 📦 and laying on the mattress until the bed frame gets here…
Granted, I had some idea that we would have to go in and out of boxes to get some of the clothes we need, but it’s just a little annoying because when we wash them, there’s no place to put them. I also, just wanted the bed frame to come this week, so that we could take the time to build it before going back to work on Monday, but there’s nothing we can do about it.
After about 5-6 calls to Wayfair, we’re just going to have to wait it out, and receive the furniture whenever it gets here😢. However, right now we’re definitely in a good place and super happy about the move (there was one night Sarina and I couldn’t stop smiling😬😬 lol)!
I’ll wrap this up by saying that I am TREMENDOUSLY Grateful for new beginnings with my girlfriend
If you’ve happened to stop by, thanks for coming through!
This will be a short one… I haven’t been writing as often, because I’ve been so busy moving, but it’s been a pretty productive couple of weeks for me and my girlfriend. My heart is so full honestly.
Yesterday, with the help of our family, we were able to move:
3 Leather Couches
2 Kitchen Tables
6 Heavy Chairs
1 Queen Bed Frame & Mattress
2 Bedroom Dressers
5 Golden Ringssssss lol
No — but honestly we moved a LOT of furniture. We gave most of the pieces to people who needed it for their apartments (friends in the area), so that made me feel really good. I’d rather give things away to people that can use them, rather than tossing them out/holding on to them when I know it’s time to let them go. Some boxes were put in storage (winter clothes mainly), so it all worked out. I woke up this morning SO sore by the way, but I thought that would happen after such a long day of heavy lifting.
We were in moving mode from 6AM to 2:30PM, and were wobbling all around our area (dropping things off) that afternoon, to make sure we got everything done before our return time at U-Haul. Sarina and I felt so accomplished at the end of the day. Now we only have a few boxes left to pack up!
Since we’re bed-less Sarina’s mom has been gracious enough to let us stay at her place, for the next couple of nights. This way we can finish up the little bit of packing that’s left, cleaning at the old/new apartment, and prepare for Moving Day this upcoming Wednesday!
We’re SO excited, and personally I feel like I’m anxiously and impatiently waiting for 7/1 to come. Sarina and I have both said it’s like that feeling of butterflies that you get when you’re about to go on a trip somewhere. That’s literally how it feels — and we cannot wait! So excited for this new beautiful journey we’re about to begin!!
I said I wasn’t going to cry, but I had a moment yesterday as we were packing up the last cupboard in the kitchen. I got teary eyed for a bit and got emotional, but they were happy tears. I think it was just really different for me, seeing these rooms I had occupied and made a home for myself in for 11 years, now empty you know? I’ve become the woman I am today while living on the 3rd floor of that 3-family house… I’ve grown so much, professionally, personally, and have gone through so many beautiful experiences that have shaped me while living there.
All of the challenges, the lessons, the amazing and incredible moments I’ve had in my “Carrie Bradshaw” apartment, are memories I will definitely cherish. I am so grateful for all of the blessings I’ve received while living here. SO grateful!
So ready for this new chapter to begin ❤
If you’ve happened to stop by and read this post, thanks for coming through! More updates to follow, once we officially move ❤
SPOILER ALERT — SPOILER ALERT — This is a Season (4) Finale TeaCap. I will be recapping the gem that is Insecure, in depth, sharing my thoughts as well as the feedback I’ve received and perspectives shared on Twitter and Instagram. So honey, if you haven’t watched it by now, you probably should come back to this post once you do because it gets REALLY REAL.
Molly & Andrew
We start off at Molly’s company function which they are attending together. Andrew looks unenthused. One of Molly’s coworkers came over and asked if they would be coming to an after party/function that was being held after the event. Molly was all about it, but Andrew… not so much. It was at this very moment, I saw the beginning of the end. Back in the room, she continues to carry on as if nothing’s wrong. She did not see the signs. At this point, I just feel like she lives in her own world and completely neglects the issues that develop around her if they don’t directly impact the way she feels in that moment. As a direct result of this, Andrew proceeds to let her have it, and told her about herself, letting her know that it’s not all about her and that she needs to be willing to compromise in ways that she hasn’t. He was clearly fed up, and expressed how unhappy he was in the relationship due to the current state of things.
Did we not see this coming?
They had a conversation about what they wanted, Andrew pretty much thinks that they may not be a good match. Molly was STUNNED and of course she tried to work through it with him (it’s a shame that she didn’t have this same energy for Issa when they were dealing with their issues in the last episode…). She mentioned that this is the longest relationship they had both been in, and hit him with the “doesn’t that mean something?”. Andrew responded with a resting bitch face and still seemed to be over it, asking her if this is what she really wanted… You know, since she has just been doing things her way without trying to meet him in the middle with his brother, doing things on her time, only doing the things she wants to do, etc. We were left on a cliffhanger, as the scene faded away with her slowly nodding her head in agreement, signifying that she indeed wanted the relationship to work between the two of them.
Did they break up? Are they going to “take a break”? Are they going to try to work things out?… We won’t know until Season 5, but I think it may be over for these two.
Issa & Nathan
They’ve managed to keep things platonic, and Issa has made it clear that she is back with Lawrence. The good thing is that Nathan seems to respect that, and let’s her know that he will definitely abide by her wishes to keep it strictly friendly. However, it’s definitely apparent that he has not lost an interest in the relationship that could’ve been, with Issa, so.. who knows what will happen during the next season. On Twitter I feel like there is a 50/50 split between those who are in favor of a relationship with Nathan Vs. Lawrence, so we will see how this all pans out.
In the last episode of this season, we learn that Tiffany is missing! Listen, I’ve BEEN saying that they needed to check on their friend since the very beginning of the season when she started to show the signs… The husband reaches out to Kelli (a REAL one by the way), who gathers the girls, and they all meet up to try and find her. She had been missing since the night before, and was not answering any of their phone calls/texts. This also brought Molly and Issa together, and it was tense at first, but you were able to see the guilt on Molly’s face as she looked at her best friend from time to time she knew she was wrong. They took a bus to a hotel they thought she might be staying in, after reviewing security cameras. When they made it to Tiffany’s floor, everyone felt relieved when her husband knocked on the door and she opened it up for him. They embraced eachother, and that was the end of that scene.
Tiffany apologized to her husband, and let him know that this has been hard for her. Insecure took this moment to highlight the topic of postpartum, and I truly appreciated that! I don’t have children of my own yet, but I have friends who do and this is a very REAL topic that is not widely discussed, so I am glad that Issa and her production company pushed this to the forefront during that episode. We need to have these discussions. Women deal with postpartum, more importantly Black Women and Black Men were watching this (and I’m sure a lot of us can relate, those of us with children). This creates a dialogue in order to have healthy conversations around it. I STAN! I’m glad they found her, and I’m also glad that she has a supportive husband and girlfriend group by her side to help her through this. Hopefully she is in a better place, from a mental perspective, after seeking therapy/counseling when we see her again in the next season I love Tiffany, and Amanada Seales lol.
Issa & Lawrence & Condola —
Okay, I had to save this part for last because this one took a lot of us by surprised, although some of us were expecting it? At least that’s some of the feedback I gathered from Twitter. I’ll get right into it, because I have to share my thoughts on this one. Lawrence comes over to Issa’s place and they start talking, but something is wrong and it’s written ALL over his face! He let’s her know that he has something he wants to share with her. He proceeds to let her know that Consequences came by and needed to speak with him the night before. We got a play-by-play of the conversation at his place.
Condola tells Lawrence that she is PREGNANT girl!! PREGNANT!!!
Lawrence says “I thought we were being careful”
He then asks her, if she knows for sure that it’s his. She tells him yes, and then let’s him know that she is GOING TO HAVE THIS BABY. She also let’s him know that he can be “as involved as he wants to be”, either way she is keeping the child. When I tell you Lawrence looked hurt? He looked HURT. Just when you thought it was sweet, and things were going well with Issa, BOOM! So Issa is obviously shocked, hurt, disappointed all of the above. She says “So what does this mean?”.. Things are quickly going to change for them all 3 of them, and now she has a decision to make.
Take a break from all of it and weigh the pros and cons?
The scene ends with both of them discussing the baby mama drama on the couch (we don’t have the deets yet). Then we fade into the final scene of the season where Issa and Molly met up for a chat at their favorite restaurant. Now we don’t know what they were actually chatting about, but I’m pretty sure Issa got the apology she never received from Molly — at least she better had. I’m also sure that these two probably had a much needed and overdue heart-to-heart, that consisted of all of the bombs that had been dropped during that episode — From the possible breakup between Molly and Andrew to the new baby on the way.
It goes without saying that this was a great season! The momentum seriously built up in a way that I didn’t expect, especially towards that ending. Aside from that I want to applaud Issa Rae and her production team again, for the Visuals and the Necessary Topics highlighted during this season, all were very captivating and relatable. This brings me to my next point and final question:
Do YOU think Issa should stay with Lawrence?
I created a poll on my IG story to see what other people thought, and at first it seemed like the majority of folks were definitely not in favor of Issa and Lawrence trying to work things out with a co-parenting situation in place, but it actually ended up resulting in a tie almost (43% said Yes and 53% said No).
Many of us had been rooting for Lawrence and Issa‘s love reconnection, so it felt personal when he dropped that bomb on her about the baby he is now having with Canola Oil. From the feedback I collected, a lot of folks felt that she was being Petty Labelle after deciding to keep the baby, with a man she is not currently with. Just sharing some points and perspectives that were shared on Twitter:
Here’s what I think:
Lawrence just received a job offer in San Francisco that is providing him with travel costs, an entire team he is managing, as well as a personal assistant — so he’s got a big enough bag to support his child it seems. He needs to take care of his responsibilities, regardless of whether or not the mother is able to care for the child on her own from a financial standpoint. I don’t agree with Condominiums telling him that he can be as involved as he wants to be, he should provide for the child and be present. I also think that co-parenting can work, as many people do it. My parents have done it, and they were still able have healthy relationships while caring for me separately. We have to remember that the child was conceived when Issa and Lawrence weren’t dating. However, this type of relationship (and all of the changes that come with it) is something Issa has to want for herself — Period.
Issa should take a step back, and weigh the pros and cons, to really dive into this moment and analyze the situation in a way that will uncover the best route to take, for her. Ultimately her happiness is priority #1. She can either decide if she feels this is what she really wants, to reconnect and build with Lawrence as there would be a long distance and co-parenting situation that she will need to factor in. — OR —
Maybe she doesn’t want that? She can also just decide that this is not for her, and take a break from dating in general to focus on her. She is definitely in her Goal-Getting Mode and I love it. There’s also this idea of Nathan coming back into the picture (romantically), not to say that she has to move on at this moment, as that would be way too much for her right now — but I can definitely see him being a character that we focus on in the next season.
Issa has some serious decisions to make, I hope we won’t have to wait until 2022 to see what unfolds in Season 5, because — COVID, but I will leave you with this, as I completely agree:
If you’ve happened to pass by and read this post, I hope you enjoyed this TeaCap! If you have viewpoints on the topics I’ve shared within this post, feel free to lend your perspective. I love the conversations that stem from the Insecure episodes.
It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’m writing this post in my kitchen, on my phone, surrounded by the mess of boxes and things we are packing up. We’ve been donating and purging like crazy, while also purchasing the new things we need for our new place little by little. With that being said, I have a closet FULL of paintings that I’ve accumulated over the last 10 years or so. It’s with a heavy heart, that I must now move forward with letting these paintings go to make space for new creation ❤
I have so many pieces that I’ve made while I was happy, angry, confused, at peace, tipsy (shoutout to those sip & paints I used to go to lol) — so many emotions tied to all of these, so I thought it might be best to just put them on the blog, in case anyone’s interested?
So here they are! Pardon the quality on some of these photos, as I’ve had to take them pretty quickly before storing them away (my mom is holding some of them too — thanks ma!)
So.. if you’ve happened to pass by and read this post, thanks for coming through! Let me know if you’re interested in any of these paintings, and I’ll definitely respond quickly! We’re moving within the next couple of weeks, so this will be a pretty quick process 🙂
I’m selling 2-3 pieces for the discounted price of 1. Price ranges for the ones that are for sale: $20-$25, depending on the piece you are interested in. I’m also giving a decent amount of these away for FREE as well, so let me know which one you’d like — it could be $Free.99
All I could say was WOW at the end of that episode on Sundayyyy! Before I read Molly, I plan to go in chronological order, so let’s start with Issa and Lawrence, shall we?
So… in Episode 8, we finally got to see Lawrence and Issa meet up. They went on a date, and enjoyed each other’s company, really enjoyed it. They met up for drinks, had dinner, and then walked around to check out some art. Let me just say that the cinematography in this season is ON POINT, colors, angles — love it! I would also like to take back my previous comment regarding a potential re-connection between these two, because after watching them interact with each other, you can tell they just get one another (in a way that flows way more naturally than their previous short-lived dating experiences).
Lawrence confesses that he has been thinking about her, and has been wondering if they could’ve done anything to make the relationship work. This got a little spicy, as they both laid their cards out on the table, but it was necessary (I should mention, Condola is also texting Lawrence as they’re having dinner, and wants to meet up). As these two are hanging out, you could see how comfortable they were with each other, and they gelled pretty well. The most important thing is that there seems to be some growth established here from both sides, so that is a plus, and yeah I actually am here for it…
So… to fast forward and head over to Episode 9, prior to the ending of episode 8, we see that Issa and Lawrence are getting along so well, that he invites her up to his apartment. Issa uses the bathroom, and comes back in to see that he just got off of the phone with Condolences, I mean Condola. To make a long story short, Issa didn’t want to leave, and Lawrence didn’t want her to go either, so you guessed it, things got really hot and heavy between the two of them, she wound up spending the night, and skipped her jolly self all the way over to her apartment the next morning (smiling the entire way).
We see that these two love birds have been hanging out very often, staying over and doing things that ‘couples do’, so it was only right that Issa asked Lawrence if he had any loose ends still floating about. He responds by saying that he’s cut things off with Condoleezza Rice, and that he enjoys the re-connection they have now as things have been working well for them. He’s happy, she’s happy, but I should also mention that he is looking to get a new job and move to San Francisco while Issa is in LA. so there’s that. Issa has been an open book with Lawrence, and lets him know that she is planning to help an ex move (Nathan), but clarifies that their relationship is strictly platonic.
Now, I feel that many of us, after going through all of these changes would want to run and tell their best friend, because obviously this tea is piping HOT, and who better to share it with, right? Well, I’ll get to that in a second..
Switching over to Molly, who is at her therapy session — thank you baby jesus! Lord knows Miss Molly has needed to do some soul searching. She proceeds to talk about all of the stress she’s dealing with, how her relationship is harder than she thought it would be, and that she feels she does not owe an apology/doesn’t feel like she could’ve done things differently regarding her issues with Issa although that is her “best friend“. Her therapist basically let’s her have it in the nicest way possible, by unpacking her control issues with just about everything that is important to her which may be adding to the stress, like her job, her relationship with Andrew, her friendship with Issa, and even feeling loss of control in the situation involving her father’s infidelity within her parents marriage —WHEW A Word! Basically as she dissects this, her therapist is asking Molly to look within when it comes to deciding whether or not her friendship with Issa serves her anymore.. You know, since she doesn’t want to actually do the work to meet her halfway and resolve the issue.
Switching back over to Issa, as our dear good-good girlfriend decides to be the bigger person, by calling Molly up and asking to meet up for brunch (and kudos to her, she is better than me, because I think it’s time for Molly to play that role). They meet up, and have a cordial sit down, laughing and kee-keeing as they normally would. She lets Molly know that she’s helping Nathan move, and Molly lies and tells her that her vacation was fun — when we really know how it went down. So yeah, in a nutshell, the chit chat ended on a nice note BUT they didn’t really dive into their issues, which I thought would’ve been a priority.
Molly goes back to her boyfriend Andrew’s house to fill him in on how it went. She was cold. She said that it seemed like a surface-level conversation and that they did not talk about the real root of their previous issues, but mentioned that she showed up so she played her part… Grrrrr, I did not like that. Andrew remains unbiased and tells her that he should meet Issa halfway, as this is all a misunderstanding, and she disagrees with him, of course. Moving back over to them and their relationship, in my opinion there are issues brewing there too. We all know that the trip to Mexico went South because Molly and her boyfriend’s brother got into an argument. It seems his brother tried to make amends by inviting them both to a Clippers game, but she turned him down and told him to go without her.
One thing to note is that Andrew is increasingly becoming uncomfortable (from what I can see), by Miss Molly’s slight control issues that rear their ugly head from time to time, and he also seems to be bothered by the fact that she’s not really trying to take the first step in trying to salvage the sour relationship she has with his brother. My friend and I were watching this on Sunday night with my girlfriend Sarina (our ritual), and we both agreed that not getting a long with family, or at the very least trying to make an effort is a DEAL BREAKER. I really think Molly needs to let go of her control and avoidance issues, but we all have things we need to work on I suppose (I’m just hoping this doesn’t mess up ALL of the meaningful relationships that she has with people, because we’re heading there, and I can see Andrew wanting to put the breaks on this if she doesn’t stop being so uptight…)
Back over to Issa, she’s on the phone with Lawrence, letting him know how things went with Molly during brunch, but her feedback was the complete opposite of what Molly shared during her conversation with Andrew. She said that it went very well, and that she really missed her soooo…. yeah there is definitely a disconnect there. Issa goes over to Nathan‘s place to help him move, and she lets him know that her and Lawrence are back together. He had negative things to say about him (although he’s never met the guy — *eye roll*), and proceeds to let her know that he actually ghosted her (in the last season), because he was dealing with sorting through his bipolar disorder — and there we have it ladies and gentleman, the real reason he left. Let’s just hope he doesn’t do anything outlandish during the last episode, now that he knows she is back with her ex, and clearly still has a thing for her.
Molly & Issa:
Final point, you know I had to save this for last. Issa is over Andrew’s house with Nathan and Molly after they finish up with the move. From the moment they arrived, Molly was making it super awkward as if she didn’t really want them to be there. She pretends as though she does, and keeps up with the pleasantries to avoid making it uncomfortable. As they are playing a drinking game, Molly sends the wrong text (meant for Andrew) to Issa and it reads “See? I’m trying with her.”……
Issa reads the text, and replies letting her know that she read it, and clearly decides to leave. They begin to talk outside, and Molly let’s her know that she feels like everything between them is being forced. Issa let’s her know that she is trying, but she is not meeting her halfway, and didn’t realize that Molly felt that way about her. She then tries to dig up the real issues that seem to have Molly in this space with her, but Molly… still.. is not budging. Issa states that she can’t be the only the one who wants to make the friendship work, and do you know what Molly says? “Maybe who you are now and who I am, just don’t fit anymore”…. SIS you are BREAKING UP WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND, FOR WHAT exactly?
I felt so bad for Issa, as if she was my home girl in real life. As she stood there and listened to Molly’s madness, her eyes were tearing up, and she looked so hurt and disappointed by what Molly had to say to her. Her response was one I definitely supported after all of that though. She said “OK”, and Molly proceeds to hit her with the “OK?!”… Yes, OK! She really irked me when she proceeded to stand there as though Issa was just supposed to beg her for their friendship, when she has specifically chosen to not lift one finger and do the work to contribute in an effort to resolve their problems, in order to move past them. That is what two mature adults do, but Molly still has to dig deeper inside of herself to see that she was wrong in that situation.
Anyways, my good sis Issa did the right thing, and threw in the towel after that. She preserved her energy and got a ride home, while Molly stood there appearing to be shocked by her response for some reason. Hoping that will be the last time she treats her friend like that, because Issa was never coming from a place of malice at any point within the season (in my opinion). Issa got in her lyft and that was that, poor thing. I guess we will have to wait and see what the SeasonFinale will be like , but I personally think that Molly is going to catch herself in a situation where she is going to face challenges within her relationship (as things have been getting a little rocky lately). She may find herself losing control once again, but if/when that does happen: Sis! WHO Yougonna call?
I went on a Twitter rant on Sunday night after watching that last episode, and this is what I had to say to Miss Molly Carter:
Molly girl, I just — • Please Self Reflect • Be Accountable • Pick & Choose Your Battles • Know when to be the Bigger Person • Support Your Best Friend • Recognize what you Can/Can’t Control
I will of course, report back with my thoughts on the tea that is brewing for this upcoming Sunday during Episode 10 (can’t believe the season’s almost over). Shout out to Kerry Washington for directing that episode, she did the damn thing, because we were ALL talking about it. Also, shout out/congrats to Yvonne Orji (Molly in Real Life). She has a new comedy special out on HBO “Yvonne Orji: Momma I made It!” and she killed it! — So good, and I’m so happy for her. Definitely recommend watching it, if you haven’t already.
If you’ve happened to pass by and read this post, thanks for coming through!
If you watch Insecure, feel free to comment/share your thoughts here too if it interests you. I love a good chat.
It’s been a ROUGH couple of days. I’m just going to keep it all the way 100, and say that my hormone monster has been on Level 10 this week. After protesting and think of just life in general, with all that’s going on — during a pandemic, my emotions have gotten the best of me. I damn near broke my phone dealing with this moody roller coaster I’ve been on. I just want to thank my girlfriend for being along for the ride, and for always being my emotional savior and therapist! She keeps me sane and balanced, and checks me when I need it. Truly the definition of a Rider ❤
On Saturday morning, we were lying in bed, and realized it was going to be another hot day, so we decided to just pack up and go to the beach. We went all the way down to Ocean Grove beach, found thee best parking spot, and it was then we realized that you cannot just ‘walk on the beach’…
It was our first time being back at the beach at all this summer, after covid, so we had absolutely no idea that you actually need to download an app called Viply to purchase daily, weekly, or weekend passes in order to enter the beach! Of course the beach we went to had no passes left, so we took our little umbrella and cooler and salsa-d back to the car…
After that we went to Long Branch, because we were able to purchased passes there. We had a BEAUTIFUL day at the beach. Sarina (my girlfriend) and I cuddled, listened to the waves, and stargazed after sunset. It was absolutely everything. We gave thanks to Mother Moon, Mother Earth, and the all knowing Universe while we were there, and when we left, we felt so good!
We crashed like 2 tired babies when we got home of course. Today we decided to keep up with Self Care Sunday because:
Sarina loves to play tennis, so we went over to the park and she played, while I ran on my favorite trail in Weequahic Park, Newark New Jersey.
I really needed this to close off the weekend. Spending time in solitude, in nature, writing, listening to the sounds of the wind and the birds chirping — this brings me peace, and I seriously needed to recenter. I am grateful for this day and all of the blessings I’ve received.
Expressing moments of gratitude out loud is a daily habit I like to keep. There is so much to be grateful for. Now that I’ve had dinner, I’m going to wash my hair, do a mask, and get comfy so that I can watch Insecure with Sarina and my good good girlfriend, before the night is over. — — — By the way, I’m a little annoyed that Issa has chosen to be the bigger person yet again, in this situation with Molly, but we will see how this goes tonight, and of course I will report back👩🏾💻💬!
I’ll need to get some rest because tomorrow I’m getting 3 wisdom teeth surgically removed — wish me luck! I hope everyone’s loving on themselves and keeping up with self care today, if you can.