A Note To My Younger Self

I remember looking in the mirror at the age of like 14/15 or so, and thinking…

Hmmm I wonder how I’m going to look when I’m like 30. How will I carry myself? Will I be married, or on my way to my second child by that age? What kind of car will I drive? Will I be living in New York City? What will I be doing for a living? What will 30 year old me look like, and how will I feel at that big age? Will I be mature enough to handle all of life’s adult challenges?

Teenage me felt like 30 years old was such an established, GROWN WOMAN age, and at 32 going on 33 next month, I still feel the same way (but there are so many layers to this). My mindset has morphed throughout my teenage years and throughout my early 20s. I’m so thankful for my life experiences, and for all of the life lessons I’ve learned. My individual, personal, and professional relationships have all contributed to the personal I am in this current moment.

So much has changed over the years. That 15 year old girl staring at herself in her bedroom mirror on the 3rd floor of her mother’s house would’ve never have imagined that she’d go on to attend 2 colleges in the span of 4 years, graduate with her bachelor’s degree (*on time), and become a member of an amazing multicultural sorority. The love sessons I had to learn were probably some of the toughest, but I grew so much from them, and found the love of my life (again) at the age of 30. I couldn’t imagine having a daughter in my 20s, although I thought I would, because my mother did (and she did an amazing job, might I add). I just had so much to grow through and learn before I could give a child the best source of love that I could be able to provide. Side bar, can’t even believe I’m saying this but.. I think I’m ready for this step, once we get a little bit of travel exploration and home-buying goals crossed off of our list….. wow this is next level adult mindset sh*t lol.

One thing’s for sure, two things for certain, your 20s are fun and liberating but your 30s are even better for a multitude of reasons. I am only going on year 3 in this decade, but so far all of the things I’ve heard about, regarding how you personally feel about/perceive certain challenges is so much different (in a *positive way). I wouldn’t say that you let every challenge or frustration just roll off of your back, but you start to see the bigger picture, and really identify with the fact that you have to trust the process and move throughout life in a way that aligns with your higher self (selfless when you factor in the collective experience, *because everyone is connected). I also, tend to take better care of myself, when I realize that I’ve fallen off from that (this is something I’m working on). As time goes by, I only want to nurture that understanding, and continue to prioritize self-care even more because it’s so important.

Things that bothered me in my 20s definitely don’t bother me now. The way I would deal with certain challenges in the past, is definitely not the way I would deal with them in this moment. It’s above me now.

I’ve written about certain moments, where I’ve reflected on my personal challenges at 32, and in hindsight, while I battle with the ‘Monday Scaries’ since I used PTO on Friday and Monday (it is now Monday evening heavy sigh), I want to write a letter to my younger self. So here she is:

Dear You,

Hey Girl, what’s up it’s probably not even that serious, whatever you’re currently going through so let it go. We’ve got bigger things on the horizon. Only make moves when you hearts in it, and live the phrase sky’s the limit, like Biggie said. Whoever you are stressing about right now, if going to fade away faster than a one hit wonder, so if it doesn’t serve your happiness, move on. Keep that drive, it will help you in the long run, I know that you channeled it in other ways in the past, but we will grow from that. Anger does not serve you in any way (always remember that).

Try to limit moments when you want to act impulsively. This does no one any good, and you just wind up kicking yourself in the a$$ anyway when it’s all said and done. Each time you want to go from 0-100, think to yourself “Is this really worth it? Probably not”, because 9/10 it’s probably not, and you’ll thank yourself later when you take the high road, although Ms. Pride does not want that.

Have fun when you’re dating, none of this sh!t will last until it feels right, but draw those boundaries once you learn from one important lesson, or you’ll be put in more situations where you’ll be served with the same lesson in a different form (don’t believe it? you’ll start to see a pattern, the more you don’t listen to yourself). When you do meet The ONE, embrace it boo because she’s everything you want and more (yes, I said *she and I know you’re probably not surprised…or maybe you are lol). Try not to let past challenges trigger you in any way. Although it’s easier said than done, the lessons you’ve learned about yourself in failed relationships, once applied to your forever-relationship, will show you how much you’ve grown and how divinely timed this moment is once you’re ready for real, true, and unconditional love.

Your job search is going to be ROUGH at first boo. I’m here to tell you to CHILL, no for real, Chill. Again, I know you’re over it, but this is when you have to also understand that you can’t control everything and you have to *TRUST THE PROCESS. In due time, it will all turn out fine. You’ll get the job that puts your foot in the door, you’ll make great professional connections and meaningful personal relationships along the way when your career takes off. You’ll hit a wall, more than once, but you just have to know that you can get up and *YOU WILL ELEVATE after each trip along the way. Stay focused on bettering yourself, jobs will come and go. You’ll be in rooms you never thought you’d be in, and excelling to levels you never even envisioned at this age, but challenges will come so you have to take care of yourself in the process.

As you continue to take care of yourself, you will run into moments when you feel that your purpose is calling you elsewhere, and that’s okay. You’ll feel bad about work and sometimes get really stressed about it and want to quit…. that’s okay too. Again, take care of yourself, start doing more of what makes YOU feel good, and remove anything that hinders your growth and/or brings down your energy.

High Vibrations Only.

Continue to spend time with your family and your close friends whenever you can (there’s a whole pandemic taking place in 2020, and this will change the game for everyone). Pay attention to your parents more and more, as time goes by. I know, sounds weird, but they’ll need you more than you know, and everything will come full circle. EVERYTHING.

  • Travel. Travel. Travel. Travel. Travel. Be Safe.
  • Travel some more.
  • Be Safe. Travel. Travel. Travel.
  • Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaave. Pay Off Your Debt ASAP.
  • Invest in long term assets, build generational wealth (like start this process NOW, your kids will thank you).
  • Also, travel some more.
  • Paint, write, go for a hike, care for plants (what? I know, you’ll love it later in life) and use your creative gifts as often as possible, this is basically therapy for you.
  • Get used to saying those affirmations, they will not go away, you will just continue to improve them as time goes on.
  • Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Give yourself a lot of time and personal care (it’s not a good-to-to-have, it’s a requirement).
  • Be open to new opportunities, but most importantly…
  • REMAIN YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF as you always have been, and you’ll see the fruits of your labor in the work that you do while hear on this earth.
  • Always remember, you got this! *No matter what.

Love,

Older ‘You’

I don’t know what the next decade holds, but I’m taking it one day at a time, with an open mind, while focusing on what brings me happiness ultimately. Things change, jobs change, life changes, but we have to stay in touch with who we are and trust the process no matter what. If something doesn’t fulfill you, I think you should plan to move on and ride the wave of what happens next (navigating gracefully) until you get to where you want to be. That’s where I’m at right now. I’m battling anxiety as I write this, but I also feel that this has been therapy for me.

I feel lighter after getting all of this off of my chest, and somewhere in the a time warp, there’s a dimensional pocket in ‘time’ where I’m slipping this letter to my younger self, and even if she doesn’t read it until she’s older, she’ll find out all of these things in due time and I am grateful for that. Maybe I’ll check back in with another letter when I look back on my 30s. This has been helpful for me.

I saw a meme the other day, that I think many 30-somethings can probably relate to…

As I get ready to dig through 2 days worth of emails, before coming back to the madness tomorrow, I am affirming the below:

This will be a good week. I will have a productive 4 days remaining, which will set myself up nicely for another weekend getaway trip that we’re doing upstate next weekend. I will navigate gracefully and let go of things that I cannot control. I will trust the process, and the all of the universe is conspiring to ensure that I align with my ultimate purpose, as it relates to each and every experience. In due time, everything will turn out fine. All is well, and so it will be.

Love & Light*

-Tati ❤

Activating Our Powers

I honestly think that even though we joked (‘we’, meaning the culture), about activating our powers on December 21, 2020, this is something that stuck with me — because we probably did.

Just before the end of the year, folks took to social media to chat about this magical, mystical, celestial topic that may have baffled some folks if they don’t have access to ‘black Twitter’…

Just saying… Black Twitter is a special place and I hold it close to my heart (I’m never leaving lol).

Some of the tweets that stood out to me on Twitter regarding this topic:

Cant forget the visual representation of this conversation, in response to the last tweet (which cracked me UP!):

To be very honest with you, I wasn’t really informed about this topic… So, I decided to do a little research to identify what was so special about this date: 12/21/20.

According to the Almanac:

On the very day of the solstice, December 212020, Jupiter will come as close to Saturn as Jove’s own moons! When Jupiter and Saturn—the two biggest planets in our solar system—meet, it’s termed the “Great Conjunction.” What’s even more special is that it’s happening on night of the winter solstice.

…a conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn is rare and only happens once every 20 years. And December 21, 2020, brings the closest great conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn in 397 years. From our point of view, the two giant worlds will appear only 0.1 degrees apart.

The Almanac

This 1-night affair was so special, that it was predicted, we would somehow tap into our powers and flourish at an incredibly unstoppable rate.. Did somebody say

Okay so, here’s where I landed after laughing at tweets and researching the Great Conjunction… I feel this is true! For some reason that I can’t really put into words (so I’ll try my best to explain it), I feel that their is something magical happening while all of these rare cosmic changes in the Universe are taking place. This brings me to this year’s mindset, which I wrote about in my previous post.

2021 — The Year of Opportunity

I see so many people I know, who are tapping into their creative and intellectual gifts and capabilities. Whether it’s a friend from college who just started a business… Or the childhood friend who is diving into her artistic passions, and flourishing with her super impressive content. I’m inspired by the commitment and dedication that I’m seeing this year, from everyone. These projects are incredible, and the Black Excellence — *I love to see it!

I say all of this, to say that I’m so here for all this greatness! I personally think that we will change the way “work” has been viewed from this point on. So many of us are really sticking to our passions, stepping out of their comfort zones, and creating a life of meaning and purpose, just by devoting time to what truly moves them — and that is so beautiful to witness!

One thing I can say is that when it comes to 2021, I am accepting all opportunities that I would’ve previously put on hold due to my own limiting beliefs. For some reason, I don’t know if it had anything to do with me settling into my 30s and getting clear about what I want, or just because I’m looking forward to a better year coming out of 2020, but I am so ready to live to my full potential, and CREATE – CREATE – CREATE!

And these blessings?

Let’s use this year to truly let go of our limiting beliefs, go after our dreams, and do what we love, because we’re on the pathway to success! Who knows where diving into our passions will take us?! It’s only up from here. I’ve activated my power of Navigation & Creation.

What power have you unlocked?

They say the YOUniverse is made of Melanin so…I’ll leave that here to close this off*

If you’ve made it down this far in the post, thanks for coming through! Feel free to share any thoughts you have around this topic, and get ready to flourish because, the time is now!

Love & Light*

-Tati ❤