Let’s Talk About Love…

Hello March, I’m welcoming you with open arms honey. Please be good to me and my homegirls!

February was a great month. Full of lots of blessings, lessons, impactful information, Black history and meaningful connections. On Sunday, February 21, my girlfriend and I joined a panel discussion for all people looking to learn more about the importance of Black love and embracing diversity in relationships — it was so much fun!

Tap In To Learn More

Unrelatable, a series created by blogger, Brie Milan. This series definitely peaked my interest when I learned that it was created to highlight the lifestyles and perspectives of those who live lives that cannot be defined by societal norms. She aspires to build a network that focuses on uniting, uplifting, and informing those individuals within this community.

Brie is a Detroit native, currently residing in North Carolina. Not only does she bring people together from all walks of life, she is an activist, and an advocate for self care practices — and I love the work she does! You can follow Brie’s Instagram @brie_milan to get notified on all of the amazing content she’s sharing, and to stay up to speed on upcoming discussions that she will be hosting. Pssst! Be on the lookout for another discussion that she will be hosting this month!

Check Out the full video in the link below!

Black Love Is: Embracing Diversity In Relationships (Part 1)

The conversation was DEEP yet hilarious, but also candid and raw in so many ways. We were also joined by another couple @beautifullyblending (Cierra and Anthony), and of course Brie was joined by her co-host and boyfriend Ron. We truly appreciated both of their love stories. I can go on and on about how amazing this panel was, but you’ll have to check it out for yourself (if it interests you), because my summary won’t do this any justice.

As we talked about what makes our love unique, we also spent time uncovering perspective on so many topics: Polyamory, Gender Roles, Dating Experiences that involve Blended Family commitments. Some of the topics we touched on, might even be considered ‘taboo’ when it comes to societal norms within the LGBTQ+ community. This was our first time joining a live conversation, and we really enjoyed it, so we look forward to building more of these types relationships, and working with others who want to elevate important conversations that shed light on so many important perspectives, and provide insight into some of the topics we don’t typically talk about.

If you’ve made it down this far, thank you so much for coming to my blog and reading this post. I appreciate YOU!

Love & Light*

Have a great week and take care out yourself.

-Tati ❤

Bi Week Is Upon Us!

Happy #BiWeek 2020!

In the wonderful words of Diana Ross — “I’m coming OUT!” Happy Saturday, from my little office nook. I want to give a big virtual hug and hello to my LGBTQ+ family!! This week is #BiWeek or Bisexual Awareness Week, and although many of us have been pretty distant when it comes to social gatherings in 2020, because COVID, a significant amount of us are still celebrating in our own way and bringing awareness to this week, virtually.

So what is BiWeek anyway???...

GLAAD provides great definition and context around this week of awareness. The actual day of recognition is September 23, but each year from 9/16 through 9/23 we celebrate, support, and highlight the history and importance of those within the bisexual community. Resource centers and publications such as GLAAD and Out Magazine have used their platform to truly shine a light on the community from historical milestones, to the current battles bisexual men and women face within the community, as it relates to owning their sexuality – I am one of them!…

MY STORY --- to make a long story short (If I can, because I'm chatty lol)

My mother has always been sexually fluid, so I grew up within the LGBTQ+ community since I was about 3 years old, and she was always very open with me about her sexuality, so I never questioned it or judged her negatively (some of my most pleasant memories growing up, were spent surrounded by those within the LGBTQ+ family). So yeah, I get it from my mama!

Fast forward to my earlier 20s, I had always been attracted to women and men, but had only been in romantic relationships with men up until about 20yrs old. Maybe I secretly just thought that every woman had that level of appreciation for the beauty of other women —but just not all, in a romantic way (if that even makes sense). So I started dating my first girlfriend around this age. I’d say it was about the time I noticed myself getting extra cute/ready in the mirror before hangin out with her, that I realized I had more of an attraction for her in a romantic way versus just platonic friendship.

I basically came out to my mother in a car ride, when I told her I was beginning to like someone.. a girl. She knew who that girl was, and when I told her we were in a relationship, she was not surprised at all — haha! She basically drew the assumption that we were dating before I even told her (I was spending so much time with the girl, and she was already out, so this was an idea she already developed in her mind, before I even spoke to her). I didn’t feel weird at all telling my mother, because she had always been so open with me about her sexuality, so acceptance came in the form of her just hugging me and smiling. I came out to my father about 2 years ago, officially. He is also very accepting, and loves my current girlfriend (which I couldn’t be more happier about).

I know that there are so many other women and men in our community that do not receive the same level of understanding from their parents/loved ones when they come out, so I am very grateful for these moments. I’m also very grateful for the level of awareness that this week brings. So many of us can take this time to educate ourselves, and receive support in a variety of ways (support groups, LGBTQ+ led events/hotlines, articles etc.)

Wow I said this was going to be short, OK!

Fast forward once more — That relationship didn’t work out, and after riding the struggle bus on and off for about 3-4 years with my first girlfriend, I literally swore off lesbian relationships! It was great until it was TOXIC af, to sum it up. Many of us have been there, and we’re not proud, but it is what it is. I had a lot of healing to do after that relationship crashed and burned. I was single (dating men only) on and off for about 10 years. Yes, I was dating, but there were moments when I just wanted to be left alone, and not even date at all, and work on myself.

After a few hopeful thoughts and potential ideas (these are the men I dated), my single self was just randomly browsing my instagram story one day, and I viewed my (now girlfriend) crush’s story — she was using a kitty filter, and she looked SO freaking cute. I slid in the DM, as the kids say, and the rest was history! Sarina is her name, she’s literally my FORVER, my person, my twin flame, my best friend, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. This is about to sound very cheesy, but you know how they say, “You meet that one person and you just KNOW instantly why it didn’t work out with anyone else”? This statement is SO true!!

I’ve known her since high school, and we’ve always flirted with each other (innocently) in the past, but the universe had plans for us to go and grow through other things in life as individuals, before we were meant to meet up again and connect at the right time. We really feel strongly about divine timing!

Many people don’t like labels, I’m one of them. I’d like to think I’m just very open to loving who I love #LoveisLove. Whoever that may be in that moment, Man, Woman, Indya Moore (crushing since Pose, she’s so cute). To me, love is an experience and a feeling, not a definition of who I am. I give love to anyone I feel deserves it, because the energy is reciprocated.

Shoutout to all of my Transexuals, Pansexuals, Bisexuals, Lesbians, Gays, and Non-Binary Gender Non-Confirming family out there. You are who you are, you love who you love, and we are a community that does not define that, as the boundaries are nonexistent here. This is why many bisexual people feel shamed when it comes to being out fully, as men and women are often judged harshly, seen as promiscuous, or portrayed in a light that makes them look indecisive when it comes to their sexuality. This is an unfair mentality, it especially hurts when it comes from those within the LGBTQ+ community (because it does happen). We are people of the rainbow, and we come in all sorts of colors, shapes, sizes, styles, and at the end of the day #LOVEWINS.

Let’s celebrate love this week!

If you’ve happened to make it down this far, thanks for stopping by and reading My Coming Out Story. If you’re an ally, I hope you can take this time to educate yourself on the community of people who Love who they Love, as they deserve to be accepted too!

Have a great weekend.

Love & Light*

❤ Tati