Hello March, I’m welcoming you with open arms honey. Please be good to me and my homegirls!
February was a great month. Full of lots of blessings, lessons, impactful information, Black history and meaningful connections. On Sunday, February 21, my girlfriend and I joined a panel discussion for all people looking to learn more about the importance of Black love and embracing diversity in relationships — it was so much fun!
Unrelatable, a series created by blogger, Brie Milan. This series definitely peaked my interest when I learned that it was created to highlight the lifestyles and perspectives of those who live lives that cannot be defined by societal norms. She aspires to build a network that focuses on uniting, uplifting, and informing those individuals within this community.
Brie is a Detroit native, currently residing in North Carolina. Not only does she bring people together from all walks of life, she is an activist, and an advocate for self care practices — and I love the work she does! You can follow Brie’s Instagram @brie_milan to get notified on all of the amazing content she’s sharing, and to stay up to speed on upcoming discussions that she will be hosting. Pssst! Be on the lookout for another discussion that she will be hosting this month!
The conversation was DEEP yet hilarious, but also candid and raw in so many ways. We were also joined by another couple @beautifullyblending (Cierra and Anthony), and of course Brie was joined by her co-host and boyfriend Ron. We truly appreciated both of their love stories. I can go on and on about how amazing this panel was, but you’ll have to check it out for yourself (if it interests you), because my summary won’t do this any justice.
As we talked about what makes our love unique, we also spent time uncovering perspective on so many topics: Polyamory, Gender Roles, DatingExperiences that involve Blended Family commitments. Some of the topics we touched on, might even be considered ‘taboo’ when it comes to societal norms within the LGBTQ+ community. This was our first time joining a live conversation, and we really enjoyed it, so we look forward to building more of these types relationships, and working with others who want to elevate important conversations that shed light on so many important perspectives, and provide insight into some of the topics we don’t typically talk about.
If you’ve made it down this far, thank you so much for coming to my blog and reading this post. I appreciate YOU!
It’s that time again… Every once in a much needed while, I decide when it’s necessary for me to take a social media break. A ‘social time-out’ or ‘pause’ if you will. Most recently I’ve felt that this break was definitely needed. Today is Sunday, and after a day jam packed full of adulting, I decided to do absolutely nothing with my girlfriend… Because self care, and on this day of relaxation, I found the need to write about what it means to remove yourself from the *other ‘social atmosphere’. Sometimes you just HAVE to unplug🔌
Yesterday I spent the majority of my day at the motor vehicle service agency. I actually went to 2 different locations, because I realized the first location I went to was suddenly no longer taking registration renewals (which is what I came for). In all fairness, I was prepared lol. However, there was a lesson learned that I think applies to many of us 20/30Somethings:
We must continue to remind ourselves that we have to adapt to any and every situation we face in life. Remember to flow through and take what comes gracefully. That way you effectively manage your balance in the moment, and manifest ideal outcomes
So as I previously stated, Saturday morning I went to the first motor vehicle station. Stood on line for nearly 3 hours, to find out that they were not doing registration renewals that day…
…Drove out 30 minutes or so to the next motor vehicle service station and waited for about another 3 hours in multiple lines — but I renewed my registration! I also managed to get my inspection done, and passed❤️. I people watched quite a bit, and it was such a funny/interesting experience (because I haven’t had much face-to-face group interaction in a whiiiile). I don’t know why, but Riding Dirty by Chamillionaire kept playing in my head all day. Saturday, Adulting at its finest.
Responsibilities aka Sponserberleries
Going back to ‘social distancing’ — Most recently I’ve been focusing on taking better care of myself, from all angles. With this in mind, I thought it might help to put a bit of a pause on social media. Time spent, needs to be limited when you’re just checking the same apps over and over again, too frequently, and dealing with Real Life Sh*t all at once (we need to be present). I’ve also been working on awareness, so social media breaks are necessary, since they’re easy distractions, and gateways to content rabbit holes 🕳 . One minute you’re reading an article on Vanity Fair, the next, you’re looking at a vlogger’s 5th conspiracy theory video on YouTube.
The other day, I got on one of the social apps I browse through often, and saw that someone posted negative hate comments regarding the lgbtq+ community under one of the photos posted of my girlfriend and I. Of course I deleted the comments and blocked the account, but I just thought to myself “What the hell is wrong with some people?”
I personally feel that with everything going on in the world right now… All of the heavy societal issues, on top of personal life and work responsibilities… Adapting to life during a pandemic, all during a moment that will change the course of this nation for the next 4 years, coupled with all of the other pressures 2020 has place upon everyone in the world… It was just time to disconnect.
What I love about social media, is its unique way of bringing information to people while also building likeminded connections and networks. I also love its ability to develop a space for people to create and share artistic ways of expression, using a variety of platforms to highlight important topics. The information well is endless! However I’ve learned, that by checking Twitter, Insta, Facebook (pick your poison), too often, this results in Information Overload.
Sometimes you have to silence the “socials”
Many people temporarily deactivate their accounts, delete the apps, and come back to them when they’re ready. I simply just don’t open them up until a decent amount of time has passed, and that’s what I’ve been doing these past few weeks. I’ve been trying to stay present. I do have to admit, that I pop on Twitter here and there, and have obviously started this draft on WordPress, so I haven’t eliminated outreach content completely (writer’s problems I suppose). However, there’s a certain energy that comes with some of the other apps that are mainly for Show & Tell. You know the ones…
I needed a break, so I took one. Not sure when I’ll be back on and in tune with what’s trending, but for now, I’d like to stay present and aware of my surroundings. I’m also focusing on staying healthy, working on mindfulness and the thoughts I tell myself within each and every moment. I’ve been very involved in caring for our plants, writing when I feel the urge to, painting recently which was fun, and exploring nature when I’m able to.
To be completely honest and transparent, I’ve had to reel myself back in to get it together and focus on my peace. Stress is never healthy, and it can have impacts on you in many ways, so I’ve been making more time for me. Taking any breaks that I can from anything that’s overexerting my energy, doing more of what makes me happy, listening to myself (and being aware of the narrative), I’ve even given myself a hug, because I can be very hard on myself — but I’m working on that.
I swore I wasn’t going to get political in this post, but I’ve been watching the ‘dueling town halls’ and election debates that have been airing recently, and I can’t believe we’re actually here, but we are. With everything going on in the senate, and attempts being made to roll back progress on how far we’ve come with human rights… It’s upsetting. Right now, we run the risk of women losing their personal right to choice in regards to reproductive rights.
The LGBTQ+ community is on edge, as many of us are planning to get married and build beautiful families with our partners.. With certain laws and rights taken away from us, we run the risk of A: Putting our future plans on hold -or- B: Just doing away with those plans entirely 😩.. This is so discouraging and unsettling, because we deserve the right to live our lives and build our families, without government officials standing in the way of that.
Yet the current state of power and potential redirection of rights, suggests that we could be at risk of losing a lot of what we’ve fought so hard for… This is why we have to do all that we can to collectively come together to make sure our voices are heard. We need positive change with effective action and a side of justice (heavy on the justice). Don’t even get me started on the electoral (what year is this?) college… I’ve said this before, but this all feels like we’re watching a bad reality show, that you can’t turn off, and yet — this is real life. Yet again, there is still so much to be grateful for.
We just have to make the absolute best of each and every moment in life, because everyone’s journey is different, and your problems could be minuscule, in comparison to someone else dealing with different challenges. I have had many moments of gratitude throughout each day. I vocally give thanks for all of the blessings in my life, and when I’m dealing with moments of creeping anxiety, I light palo santo, take a few deep breaths, relax my shoulders and my eyebrows, and calm my mind for clarity before changing the channel.
Writing is very therapeutic for me, so it helps. My girlfriend is also freaking ah-MAY-zing, and has been so loving and supportive, as I ride through these emotions 🎢 . She’s riding with me through it all, and I’m so grateful for the beautiful energy she continues to bring into my life. This Tuesday there’s going to be a meteor shower, so we’re planning to watch it. I’m excited for that. I also would LOVE to REALLY unplug and go off the grid with Babe. Away in a beautiful woodsy area, preferably by a lake tucked in a cute little autumn foliage vibe filled forest.
We have something planned for her birthday. A tiny home in upstate New York in the woods. We can’t wait! I plan to blog about it when we get back🧡. It’s going to be the getaway we need, although I’m yearning for something that we can do sooner. So many people have been traveling to other countries, I guess before Miss Rona gets worse? (We’re also starting to see spikes in certain parts of the country) I’m not sure we’re quite there yet, ready to travel outside of the country that is. I’ll have to feel a lot more reassured before making a traveling move like that any time soon.
For now I’m focused on my peace, mental and physical health, finding my balance, maintaining awareness and/or mindfulness, and surrounding myself with *Only The Good Things.
This was truly a lazy Sunday. I loved absolutely everything about it. I’m so very grateful. Cherish the day✨
If you’ve happened to come through and make it all the way down this post, thank you so much for reading! Stay safe. Be kind to yourself. Make it a habit to pause anything that’s draining your energy and care for YOU, whatever that may look like: Meditation, going for a run, cooking, artistic creation, caring for your plants, journaling…
Have a wonderful week.
Affirmation: This will be a great week. I will navigate through each and every moment gracefully. I will control my storyline by paying attention to the narrative, and by making the best decisions for me. Taking the time I need to, when I need to. All is well.