A Note To My Younger Self

I remember looking in the mirror at the age of like 14/15 or so, and thinking…

Hmmm I wonder how I’m going to look when I’m like 30. How will I carry myself? Will I be married, or on my way to my second child by that age? What kind of car will I drive? Will I be living in New York City? What will I be doing for a living? What will 30 year old me look like, and how will I feel at that big age? Will I be mature enough to handle all of life’s adult challenges?

Teenage me felt like 30 years old was such an established, GROWN WOMAN age, and at 32 going on 33 next month, I still feel the same way (but there are so many layers to this). My mindset has morphed throughout my teenage years and throughout my early 20s. I’m so thankful for my life experiences, and for all of the life lessons I’ve learned. My individual, personal, and professional relationships have all contributed to the personal I am in this current moment.

So much has changed over the years. That 15 year old girl staring at herself in her bedroom mirror on the 3rd floor of her mother’s house would’ve never have imagined that she’d go on to attend 2 colleges in the span of 4 years, graduate with her bachelor’s degree (*on time), and become a member of an amazing multicultural sorority. The love sessons I had to learn were probably some of the toughest, but I grew so much from them, and found the love of my life (again) at the age of 30. I couldn’t imagine having a daughter in my 20s, although I thought I would, because my mother did (and she did an amazing job, might I add). I just had so much to grow through and learn before I could give a child the best source of love that I could be able to provide. Side bar, can’t even believe I’m saying this but.. I think I’m ready for this step, once we get a little bit of travel exploration and home-buying goals crossed off of our list….. wow this is next level adult mindset sh*t lol.

One thing’s for sure, two things for certain, your 20s are fun and liberating but your 30s are even better for a multitude of reasons. I am only going on year 3 in this decade, but so far all of the things I’ve heard about, regarding how you personally feel about/perceive certain challenges is so much different (in a *positive way). I wouldn’t say that you let every challenge or frustration just roll off of your back, but you start to see the bigger picture, and really identify with the fact that you have to trust the process and move throughout life in a way that aligns with your higher self (selfless when you factor in the collective experience, *because everyone is connected). I also, tend to take better care of myself, when I realize that I’ve fallen off from that (this is something I’m working on). As time goes by, I only want to nurture that understanding, and continue to prioritize self-care even more because it’s so important.

Things that bothered me in my 20s definitely don’t bother me now. The way I would deal with certain challenges in the past, is definitely not the way I would deal with them in this moment. It’s above me now.

I’ve written about certain moments, where I’ve reflected on my personal challenges at 32, and in hindsight, while I battle with the ‘Monday Scaries’ since I used PTO on Friday and Monday (it is now Monday evening heavy sigh), I want to write a letter to my younger self. So here she is:

Dear You,

Hey Girl, what’s up it’s probably not even that serious, whatever you’re currently going through so let it go. We’ve got bigger things on the horizon. Only make moves when you hearts in it, and live the phrase sky’s the limit, like Biggie said. Whoever you are stressing about right now, if going to fade away faster than a one hit wonder, so if it doesn’t serve your happiness, move on. Keep that drive, it will help you in the long run, I know that you channeled it in other ways in the past, but we will grow from that. Anger does not serve you in any way (always remember that).

Try to limit moments when you want to act impulsively. This does no one any good, and you just wind up kicking yourself in the a$$ anyway when it’s all said and done. Each time you want to go from 0-100, think to yourself “Is this really worth it? Probably not”, because 9/10 it’s probably not, and you’ll thank yourself later when you take the high road, although Ms. Pride does not want that.

Have fun when you’re dating, none of this sh!t will last until it feels right, but draw those boundaries once you learn from one important lesson, or you’ll be put in more situations where you’ll be served with the same lesson in a different form (don’t believe it? you’ll start to see a pattern, the more you don’t listen to yourself). When you do meet The ONE, embrace it boo because she’s everything you want and more (yes, I said *she and I know you’re probably not surprised…or maybe you are lol). Try not to let past challenges trigger you in any way. Although it’s easier said than done, the lessons you’ve learned about yourself in failed relationships, once applied to your forever-relationship, will show you how much you’ve grown and how divinely timed this moment is once you’re ready for real, true, and unconditional love.

Your job search is going to be ROUGH at first boo. I’m here to tell you to CHILL, no for real, Chill. Again, I know you’re over it, but this is when you have to also understand that you can’t control everything and you have to *TRUST THE PROCESS. In due time, it will all turn out fine. You’ll get the job that puts your foot in the door, you’ll make great professional connections and meaningful personal relationships along the way when your career takes off. You’ll hit a wall, more than once, but you just have to know that you can get up and *YOU WILL ELEVATE after each trip along the way. Stay focused on bettering yourself, jobs will come and go. You’ll be in rooms you never thought you’d be in, and excelling to levels you never even envisioned at this age, but challenges will come so you have to take care of yourself in the process.

As you continue to take care of yourself, you will run into moments when you feel that your purpose is calling you elsewhere, and that’s okay. You’ll feel bad about work and sometimes get really stressed about it and want to quit…. that’s okay too. Again, take care of yourself, start doing more of what makes YOU feel good, and remove anything that hinders your growth and/or brings down your energy.

High Vibrations Only.

Continue to spend time with your family and your close friends whenever you can (there’s a whole pandemic taking place in 2020, and this will change the game for everyone). Pay attention to your parents more and more, as time goes by. I know, sounds weird, but they’ll need you more than you know, and everything will come full circle. EVERYTHING.

  • Travel. Travel. Travel. Travel. Travel. Be Safe.
  • Travel some more.
  • Be Safe. Travel. Travel. Travel.
  • Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaave. Pay Off Your Debt ASAP.
  • Invest in long term assets, build generational wealth (like start this process NOW, your kids will thank you).
  • Also, travel some more.
  • Paint, write, go for a hike, care for plants (what? I know, you’ll love it later in life) and use your creative gifts as often as possible, this is basically therapy for you.
  • Get used to saying those affirmations, they will not go away, you will just continue to improve them as time goes on.
  • Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Give yourself a lot of time and personal care (it’s not a good-to-to-have, it’s a requirement).
  • Be open to new opportunities, but most importantly…
  • REMAIN YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF as you always have been, and you’ll see the fruits of your labor in the work that you do while hear on this earth.
  • Always remember, you got this! *No matter what.

Love,

Older ‘You’

I don’t know what the next decade holds, but I’m taking it one day at a time, with an open mind, while focusing on what brings me happiness ultimately. Things change, jobs change, life changes, but we have to stay in touch with who we are and trust the process no matter what. If something doesn’t fulfill you, I think you should plan to move on and ride the wave of what happens next (navigating gracefully) until you get to where you want to be. That’s where I’m at right now. I’m battling anxiety as I write this, but I also feel that this has been therapy for me.

I feel lighter after getting all of this off of my chest, and somewhere in the a time warp, there’s a dimensional pocket in ‘time’ where I’m slipping this letter to my younger self, and even if she doesn’t read it until she’s older, she’ll find out all of these things in due time and I am grateful for that. Maybe I’ll check back in with another letter when I look back on my 30s. This has been helpful for me.

I saw a meme the other day, that I think many 30-somethings can probably relate to…

As I get ready to dig through 2 days worth of emails, before coming back to the madness tomorrow, I am affirming the below:

This will be a good week. I will have a productive 4 days remaining, which will set myself up nicely for another weekend getaway trip that we’re doing upstate next weekend. I will navigate gracefully and let go of things that I cannot control. I will trust the process, and the all of the universe is conspiring to ensure that I align with my ultimate purpose, as it relates to each and every experience. In due time, everything will turn out fine. All is well, and so it will be.

Love & Light*

-Tati ❤

Let’s Talk About Love…

Hello March, I’m welcoming you with open arms honey. Please be good to me and my homegirls!

February was a great month. Full of lots of blessings, lessons, impactful information, Black history and meaningful connections. On Sunday, February 21, my girlfriend and I joined a panel discussion for all people looking to learn more about the importance of Black love and embracing diversity in relationships — it was so much fun!

Tap In To Learn More

Unrelatable, a series created by blogger, Brie Milan. This series definitely peaked my interest when I learned that it was created to highlight the lifestyles and perspectives of those who live lives that cannot be defined by societal norms. She aspires to build a network that focuses on uniting, uplifting, and informing those individuals within this community.

Brie is a Detroit native, currently residing in North Carolina. Not only does she bring people together from all walks of life, she is an activist, and an advocate for self care practices — and I love the work she does! You can follow Brie’s Instagram @brie_milan to get notified on all of the amazing content she’s sharing, and to stay up to speed on upcoming discussions that she will be hosting. Pssst! Be on the lookout for another discussion that she will be hosting this month!

Check Out the full video in the link below!

Black Love Is: Embracing Diversity In Relationships (Part 1)

The conversation was DEEP yet hilarious, but also candid and raw in so many ways. We were also joined by another couple @beautifullyblending (Cierra and Anthony), and of course Brie was joined by her co-host and boyfriend Ron. We truly appreciated both of their love stories. I can go on and on about how amazing this panel was, but you’ll have to check it out for yourself (if it interests you), because my summary won’t do this any justice.

As we talked about what makes our love unique, we also spent time uncovering perspective on so many topics: Polyamory, Gender Roles, Dating Experiences that involve Blended Family commitments. Some of the topics we touched on, might even be considered ‘taboo’ when it comes to societal norms within the LGBTQ+ community. This was our first time joining a live conversation, and we really enjoyed it, so we look forward to building more of these types relationships, and working with others who want to elevate important conversations that shed light on so many important perspectives, and provide insight into some of the topics we don’t typically talk about.

If you’ve made it down this far, thank you so much for coming to my blog and reading this post. I appreciate YOU!

Love & Light*

Have a great week and take care out yourself.

-Tati ❤

Beyoncé Is King

All I can say is WOW!

This weekend, I had a Girl’s Night with my best friend and my girlfriend. We dedicated an entire Saturday to just catching up, vibing on the couch, sipping rosé, and munching on appetizers.

By now, I’m sure you’ve already heard about Beyoncé’s new visual album Black Is King. This is only available, currently, on Disney+. It was released on Friday July 31st, 2020. If you’re like me, and have already subscribed to multiple streaming services, and don’t want to tac another one onto the bill, I HIGHLY recommend asking a family member to borrow their credentials for this one moment — TRUST me, you NEED to see this! I’m sharing the trailer below, because it’s only right that you preview this:

To provide some background on this, for those who don’t follow Beyoncé closely, this visual album was created using the songs she released for the album: The Lion King: The Gift. This project was rolled out to directly align with the animated film, The Lion King, which Beyoncé had a huge contribution in playing the voice of Nala. The Queen Bey herself, did an impeccable job using this visual production, Black is King, as a platform to not only share her artistic gifts with us in conjunction with those who helped her finalize this masterpiece — BUT this is literally the definition of storytelling!

The film is about 1 hour and 25 minutes long — I laughed, I cried, I smiled, I wrote about it on Instagram.

@callme_tati_

She blew me away with the direct connection to the storyline of The Lion King film. She replicated so many beautiful African inspired looks, hairstyles, dances, and just truly rooted the visual experience in Black culture. It made us SO Proud To Be Black🖤. She flipped it and told the story we needed to hear and see today within the Black community — *The Messages.

“I’m so happy to be Black!”

Chelsea Rawls, My Best Friend

She uses sound clips from the film, and establishes a beautiful visual storyboard from start to finish which includes many many celestial, spiritual, uplifting, powerful images, and I was in awe — FLOORED sis! The musical masterpiece includes looks that are out of this world — A *Mood and then some.

The impact of the character in focus equates to that of Simba in comparison, if we must compare. The child is King. She reminds him that he will have to meet himself again, to remember who he is, as his ancestors hold their power, reminding him of his in this universal moment we tap into. We appreciate the Black Woman who has colored this earth with so many different shades of melanin. We shine a light on them, and tie in every aspect of womanhood, motherhood, manhood, fatherhood, childhood, the identification of Self, and having pride in who we are!

Part of the Black experience for this young man is going/growing through moments of Struggle, Challenge, Reward, Discernment, and Wisdom. It’s so beautiful to watch. We focus on Black Men, Black Women, Black Love, Black Daughters, Mothers, Fathers, Family.

I’m not too certain of this thought, but I do believe Ms. Solange had a part to play in the setting development of some scenes (and I just want to say ‘thank you’). This project features celebrities such as Lupita Nyong’o, Naomi Campbell, Tierra Whack, Jessie Reyez, Burna Boy. She also includes her family, and those scenes were very beautiful. Ms Tina and Kelly Rowland are slaying per usual, Jay-Z makes an appearance with his feature on one of the songs (loved their ‘King & Queen moment’). There are just so many cameos that are truly perfect in the sequence of the storyline.

….I just need to get to the LEWKS really quick and then I plan to wrap this up in less than 1 min, so stick around for the GAG honey (if you haven’t watched it yet). I JUST —

This woman is magical. This content is SO powerful. I literally feel like she screamed:

“WAKE UP Y’ALL! OKAY GOOD, NOW THAT YOU’RE WOKE, DON’T FORGET THE POWER YOU HOLD. WE BRING PURPOSE TO THIS WORLD, REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE AND HARNESS THAT STRENGTH”

There was one statement she made, I can’t remember precisely, but I believe she said something along the lines of “Happiness — as pure as the smile on your father’s face”, and it really hit me to the core. So deep… when we think about the stereotypes of Black men, and the relationship they have with their emotions (especially older men from older generations, like our fathers and grandfathers)

The powerful words recited within the poetry she selected for this, and the spoken word performance clips she incorporated, were just absolutely amazing. The SHOTS, the COLORS (contrast and angles) STUNNING I tell you! I live, and I truly LOVE what Beyonce is doing for the culture.

This image released by Disney Plus shows Beyoncé in a scene from her visual album “Black is King,” premiering Friday on Disney Plus. (Robin Harper/Parkwood Entertainment/Disney + via AP)

She continues to amaze us with her ability to captivate the world at the grandest of levels, with a voice that’s covered in the godliest of melodies. WE TALKING RANGE? There is no competition, she created this lane, and I love that she is building an empire with her husband to then pass this wealth of knowledge down to their children. I just know Blue Ivy is going to do great things years from now, and the rest of her kids will go on to make their parents proud.

This is not only Black excellence folks, this is a wake up call to understand the power we possess, a reminder of what we bring to this world, a celebration of our people, and overall just a BEAUTIFUL body of work. I truly hope that every Black person, men especially, find some time to watch this. I hope you get a chance to watch this too girl, and if you have to bite that $6.99/mth bullet to get there, I understand.

If you’ve made it down this far, I just want to thank you for taking the time to read my post.

I’m sitting under the full moon, charging our crystal, and sipping on some libations this evening as I write this. If you were born in the 80’s (maybe 90s) I really think you’ll enjoy disney+, I mean — I watched 101 Dalmatians, Fantasia, and Cinderella all in one sitting today with my girlfriend, so I’m a fan lol. Note to Self Below

This Week’s Affirmations: Stay centered, when you must — find your balance and let go of what you can’t control. Remain productive, but also take time for yourself and do the things you love. Spend time with the ones you love. Love on yourself. Give thanks for all blessings, and continue to walk the righteous path in front of you, living for a higher purpose and power through every experience (with awareness in mind). End the week on a *solid and *satisfying note.

I hope you have a good week. Don’t forget to say your affirmations, sis!

Thanks for coming through.

Love & Light*

Rest In Paradise Mari

Over the weekend, I received sad news about my sorority sister, Marileidy “Mari” Morel. She passed away last Saturday, July 4th during the evening in Fairfield, CT while walking her dog.

As I woke up to read the text I received in the middle of the night, I was so shocked by the information my sister shared with me. I had found out that Mari was in a car accident that evening, and did not make it. She was only 32 years old. As I write this post, I find my sadness growing, because this was such a horrible thing that happened to such a beautiful spirit.

Mari and I pledged for Omega Phi Chi (Multicultural) Sorority, Inc. during our freshman/sophomore year in college, we both crossed into an amazing sisterhood and attended Montclair State Univeristy. She was my chapter sister (Mu Chapter), and although we weren’t as close as some of my other sisters while pledging, I have very fond memories of her as a Neo, and as a younger sister back in 2008-2010. Mari pledged a semester before me. I remember feeling so comforted by her warm spirit as she would always light up a room with her caring and positive energy as soon as she walked in.

Over the years, we haven’t seen each other as much as I would’ve liked, because life gets in the way at times, but I’d like to hold on to the memories of her that are still with me. She was definitely one of the kindest, supportive people I’ve come in contact with at MSU, and I am so proud to be her sister (even if not by blood/DNA). She was such a genuinely nice person.

It is important that I mention, that this is a Hit and Run investigation. The vehicle is believed to be a Dark Green Jeep Wrangler. Damage to the vehicle is likely to be in the front right portion of the jeep. A clear marker lens was recovered at the scene.

Post shared by my chapter sisters. This repost, recalls what the witness saw at the scene when she found Mari after this happened (Trigger Warning: This is detailed)

I, like my other sisters are hurting right now, because her beautiful soul was taken from us too soon. She had plans for her future, and the driver of the SUV took that away from her. I just really hope her family can find justice, because they deserve it! SHE deserves it.

As mentioned above, this is actively being investigated by the Fairfield CT police. If you can please share this with anyone you know, on your socials/online/etc. that would help tremendously, as information would aid in identifying the driver of this vehicle.

Anonymous tips may be submitted by texting “FPD” plus your tip info to CRIMES (274637), or by going to http://www.fpdct.com/tips

Anyone with information can also call the Fairfield police department at (203) 254-4800 OR, if you are able to provide surveillance video, you can contact Sgt. Michael Paris at (203) 254-4862.

Rest in Paradise Mari*

***UPDATE****

The vehicle of the person responsible for my sister’s hit and run has been identified, as well as the man behind the wheel. My sisters and I were all very happy to hear that this man was found and taken into custody. This is what we’ve learned so far:

DECLAN P. KOT, AGE 22, OF EASTON is charged with: 

  • Misconduct with a Motor Vehicle (Class D Felony)
  • Evading Responsibility in Operating a Motor Vehicle Resulting in Death
  • Failure to Drive in Proper Lane
  • Operating a Motor Vehicle without Fenders
  • Tampering with Evidence
  • Operation of a Motor Vehicle with Tinted Windows without Tinting Sticker
  • Operation of Vehicle with Tinted Windshield

This man, a firefighter, has been charged with 7 offenses but I personally feel that this is not enough. I can’t find the article, but there is a separate incident which took place this same weekend, (hit and run) resulting in the same outcome unfortunately. However, this man was not well connected within the community, and is faced with a list of charges that are much more severe (not to mention his bail was much higher). I do not work in law enforcement/have not studied law, but I can confidently say that this deserves more attention. He is expected to arrive in court this Wednesday 7/15 in Fairfield, CT to receive his ruling.

My sisters are doing all that they can to make sure that Mari and her family receive the justice they deserve! If you have read/shared this post, please find more information below on updated ways that you can help:

Today Mari was laid to rest, and although I was unable to attend, I met up with my sisters last week to celebrate Mari and it was a beautiful moment.

Rest in paradise Mari, we love you!

A New Chapter

We’ve moved into our new place! As of 7/1, we’ve been able to finally rest in our new apartment. Sarina and I have been moving around nonstop — putting things in storage, donating, buying new things, building furniture… and it has been an AH-MAY-ZING experience. We are so grateful for this opportunity, and to begin this new journey. I just keep saying “thank you”, because gratitude is so important to me.

Our Living Room — (Don’t mind our pillows, some of them are for the bed)

Sarina put our an entire couch, 4 bar stools, desk, and TV stand together these past few days. Needless to say, there’s literally nothing she can’t do. I’m so very grateful for her, we’re going through the whole settling process together and she’s made it so much easier for us to get things done. Our mothers have also been a HUGE help in getting us settled. It sounds corny, but teamwork Really makes the dream work. We would still be unpacking boxes if it weren’t for them ❤

For now, I think we’ve taken care of all of the major aspects of the apartment — except for.. the bedroom. The kitchen is good to go, living room is almost fully setup (with the exception of one piece of furniture that’s still being delivered), but the current state of the bedroom furniture when it come to the actual delivery process, just makes me sigh and roll my eyes…

The Positives:

– Computer, desk, and WiFi are all setup.

– Mattress was delivered

The Annoyances:

– 2 parts of the bed frame have just completely disappeared… The warehouse cannot find them, so now they’ve put a replacement order in, expediting the delivery, but have stated that it likely won’t get delivered until late July sometime…

– The dresser is not getting delivered until around the same time I believe (perhaps even August, these dates keep changing), so right now we’ve just been living out of boxes 📦 and laying on the mattress until the bed frame gets here…

Granted, I had some idea that we would have to go in and out of boxes to get some of the clothes we need, but it’s just a little annoying because when we wash them, there’s no place to put them. I also, just wanted the bed frame to come this week, so that we could take the time to build it before going back to work on Monday, but there’s nothing we can do about it.

After about 5-6 calls to Wayfair, we’re just going to have to wait it out, and receive the furniture whenever it gets here😢. However, right now we’re definitely in a good place and super happy about the move (there was one night Sarina and I couldn’t stop smiling😬😬 lol)!

I’ll wrap this up by saying that I am TREMENDOUSLY Grateful for new beginnings with my girlfriend

On Our New Couch — My Mami, Sarina, and I (Sarina’s Mami took the picture but she’s been there from the start and I love her SO MUCH!)

If you’ve happened to stop by, thanks for coming through!

Love & Light*

-Tati ❤

It’s Almost Moving Day!

This will be a short one… I haven’t been writing as often, because I’ve been so busy moving, but it’s been a pretty productive couple of weeks for me and my girlfriend. My heart is so full honestly.

Yesterday, with the help of our family, we were able to move:

3 Leather Couches

2 Kitchen Tables

6 Heavy Chairs

1 Queen Bed Frame & Mattress

2 Bedroom Dressers

5 Golden Ringssssss lol

No — but honestly we moved a LOT of furniture. We gave most of the pieces to people who needed it for their apartments (friends in the area), so that made me feel really good. I’d rather give things away to people that can use them, rather than tossing them out/holding on to them when I know it’s time to let them go. Some boxes were put in storage (winter clothes mainly), so it all worked out. I woke up this morning SO sore by the way, but I thought that would happen after such a long day of heavy lifting.

We were in moving mode from 6AM to 2:30PM, and were wobbling all around our area (dropping things off) that afternoon, to make sure we got everything done before our return time at U-Haul. Sarina and I felt so accomplished at the end of the day. Now we only have a few boxes left to pack up!

Sarina’s brothers-in-law taking the front door down, temporarily, so that we can bring some furniture out of the house. So grateful for the support we’ve received from our family ❤

Since we’re bed-less Sarina’s mom has been gracious enough to let us stay at her place, for the next couple of nights. This way we can finish up the little bit of packing that’s left, cleaning at the old/new apartment, and prepare for Moving Day this upcoming Wednesday!

We’re SO excited, and personally I feel like I’m anxiously and impatiently waiting for 7/1 to come. Sarina and I have both said it’s like that feeling of butterflies that you get when you’re about to go on a trip somewhere. That’s literally how it feels — and we cannot wait! So excited for this new beautiful journey we’re about to begin!!

I said I wasn’t going to cry, but I had a moment yesterday as we were packing up the last cupboard in the kitchen. I got teary eyed for a bit and got emotional, but they were happy tears. I think it was just really different for me, seeing these rooms I had occupied and made a home for myself in for 11 years, now empty you know? I’ve become the woman I am today while living on the 3rd floor of that 3-family house… I’ve grown so much, professionally, personally, and have gone through so many beautiful experiences that have shaped me while living there.

All of the challenges, the lessons, the amazing and incredible moments I’ve had in my “Carrie Bradshaw” apartment, are memories I will definitely cherish. I am so grateful for all of the blessings I’ve received while living here. SO grateful!

So ready for this new chapter to begin ❤

If you’ve happened to stop by and read this post, thanks for coming through! More updates to follow, once we officially move ❤

Love and Light*

Happy Sunday

-Tati

Everything Must Go!

It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’m writing this post in my kitchen, on my phone, surrounded by the mess of boxes and things we are packing up. We’ve been donating and purging like crazy, while also purchasing the new things we need for our new place little by little. With that being said, I have a closet FULL of paintings that I’ve accumulated over the last 10 years or so. It’s with a heavy heart, that I must now move forward with letting these paintings go to make space for new creation ❤

I have so many pieces that I’ve made while I was happy, angry, confused, at peace, tipsy (shoutout to those sip & paints I used to go to lol) — so many emotions tied to all of these, so I thought it might be best to just put them on the blog, in case anyone’s interested?

So here they are! Pardon the quality on some of these photos, as I’ve had to take them pretty quickly before storing them away (my mom is holding some of them too — thanks ma!)

So.. if you’ve happened to pass by and read this post, thanks for coming through! Let me know if you’re interested in any of these paintings, and I’ll definitely respond quickly! We’re moving within the next couple of weeks, so this will be a pretty quick process 🙂

I’m selling 2-3 pieces for the discounted price of 1. Price ranges for the ones that are for sale: $20-$25, depending on the piece you are interested in. I’m also giving a decent amount of these away for FREE as well, so let me know which one you’d like — it could be $Free.99

Love & Light*

Take care of yourself today.

-Tati ❤

Self Care Sundays

Long Branch, NJ — Beach Sunset For The Win!

It’s been a ROUGH couple of days. I’m just going to keep it all the way 100, and say that my hormone monster has been on Level 10 this week. After protesting and think of just life in general, with all that’s going on — during a pandemic, my emotions have gotten the best of me. I damn near broke my phone dealing with this moody roller coaster I’ve been on. I just want to thank my girlfriend for being along for the ride, and for always being my emotional savior and therapist! She keeps me sane and balanced, and checks me when I need it. Truly the definition of a Rider ❤

On Saturday morning, we were lying in bed, and realized it was going to be another hot day, so we decided to just pack up and go to the beach. We went all the way down to Ocean Grove beach, found thee best parking spot, and it was then we realized that you cannot just ‘walk on the beach’…

It was our first time being back at the beach at all this summer, after covid, so we had absolutely no idea that you actually need to download an app called Viply to purchase daily, weekly, or weekend passes in order to enter the beach! Of course the beach we went to had no passes left, so we took our little umbrella and cooler and salsa-d back to the car…

After that we went to Long Branch, because we were able to purchased passes there. We had a BEAUTIFUL day at the beach. Sarina (my girlfriend) and I cuddled, listened to the waves, and stargazed after sunset. It was absolutely everything. We gave thanks to Mother Moon, Mother Earth, and the all knowing Universe while we were there, and when we left, we felt so good!

Favorite time of the day

We crashed like 2 tired babies when we got home of course. Today we decided to keep up with Self Care Sunday because:

Sarina loves to play tennis, so we went over to the park and she played, while I ran on my favorite trail in Weequahic Park, Newark New Jersey.

I really needed this to close off the weekend. Spending time in solitude, in nature, writing, listening to the sounds of the wind and the birds chirping — this brings me peace, and I seriously needed to recenter. I am grateful for this day and all of the blessings I’ve received.

THANK you

Thank YOU

THANK YOU!

Expressing moments of gratitude out loud is a daily habit I like to keep. There is so much to be grateful for. Now that I’ve had dinner, I’m going to wash my hair, do a mask, and get comfy so that I can watch Insecure with Sarina and my good good girlfriend, before the night is over. — — — By the way, I’m a little annoyed that Issa has chosen to be the bigger person yet again, in this situation with Molly, but we will see how this goes tonight, and of course I will report back👩🏾‍💻💬!

Post By @kagdesignco via Instagram

I’ll need to get some rest because tomorrow I’m getting 3 wisdom teeth surgically removed — wish me luck! I hope everyone’s loving on themselves and keeping up with self care today, if you can.

Love & Light*

-Tati

Peaceful Protest For Change & Equality

The residents of Maplewood & South Orange protested peacefully, on Friday, June 5, 2020. This protest was organized by the students of Columbia High School.

I am writing this post over, and attempting to upload it as it originally wouldn’t post for some reason. I’ve been trying to get these images to upload, and to show here, because they mean a LOT to me.. so I am posting them bit by bit. They have to be seen, and this story has to be told.

Mothers, fathers, children, teachers, medical professionals, city officials, local business owners, and residents gathered in South Orange on Friday, June 5th to walk peacefully for positive change and equality, while police officers blocked off intersections in observance of our protest. This was such a powerful moment, and I’m so glad I was able to be a part of history in REAL TIME!

As my girlfriend and I walked from Spiotta Park in South Orange to Maplewood Municipal building down valley, we felt so empowered. We walked with my girlfriend’s mom, and our two friends. The streets were filled with people who spoke up for change and demanded that our voices were heard.

More importantly, the young men and women who organized this protest did an amazing job of using that moment to address the necessary changes needed within the community, as they spoke about there own personal experiences. Maplewood and South Orange is known for being a “stigma free” community. That all sounds nice on paper, but in reality there are still racial issues that exist within the two towns… and these students used this opportunity to call out these ‘stigma free’ local restaurant owners, and school systems!

(Video of one student who gave me chills, who describes the racial inequality he has experienced while watching the “Independence Day” fireworks in the local park. I believe his name is Danny)

I was absolutely infuriated when I learned that this stigma-free community, does not send school buses to certain areas within the school district, due to the location of the neighborhood as it relates to the “distance” of the school. There’s no reason why these children should have to take public transportation or walk miles just to get to school, and have to worry about being late for class, due to the fact that they have not been provided with public school transportation — this is a problem. Redlining is a problem, period.

It goes without saying, that we are being heard, and seen right now, and more than ever before, we are uniting and coming together (both in our communities and around the world) to push for positive change and equality for our people — BLACK PEOPLE!

We are the reporters.

We are the journalists.

With social media, we are only exposing what some people have been afraid to acknowledge.. what some people have been afraid to talk about outside AND inside their homes. It’s uncomfortable for many, and that’s good! This conversation needs to continue, until the issue of systematic racism and inequality is no longer an issue. We ask every white person/ally who wants to help/contribute in ways that will promote this change, to hold themselves accountable in these moments, continue to speak up and use their privilege to help us in moments when it is absolutely necessary, to educate and correct themselves/friends/family/peers/colleagues, and to continue to advocate for this change.

Do NOT stop, once it is no longer “trending”.

We will not be silenced, and we will continue to speak up, walk, and inform until you’ve heard us and give us the support we deserve! Even after that, we will never let go of what it took to get there. I have hope, and believe that even through all of the negativity, change will come — it has to!

Karma is a Black Woman.

Love & Light*

Be safe, Be well everyone.

❤ Tati

#BlackOutTuesday

Image sourced by @zaynescandycane (Twitter) and created by @sacree_frangine (Instagram)
*Click for more info shared by Brittany Packnett via Instagram*

I cried today.

After seeing so many of these horrible images and videos of my people being mistreated while peacefully protesting.

After seeing police try to arrest and put the blame on my people for damages they did not cause.

After trying to keep it together for over a week now, I had to take a moment to pause and breathe.

The crazy part about all of this is that, if you’re black and working in corporate america, you’re expected to just get your tasks done for the day as if you’re unaffected, and if you’re not working in an environment with a diverse group of people on your team, you’re basically dealing with these issues on your own with no one to connect with in your work environment that actually ‘gets’ it.

Instagram Post @goldinggirl617

I know that some companies have made public statements about the movement in effort to show support. Some haven’t, others have but it’s quite obvious by the tone of the message, that it was not coming from a place of sincerity. We’ve called companies out, and have unapologetically made some folks uncomfortable due to their silence, so it would make sense that some of these beloved brands are simply jumping at the chance to make a statement (even if it is not genuine) to clear their name.

Black Out Tuesday took place today. What is this you ask? I’d like to add more context here, as many were not fully informed before posting about it. Myself included, but this is why we MUST educate and share credible knowledge/sources regarding ANYthing surrounding this powerful movement.

Well, if you didn’t click the link above, underneath the #BlackLivesMatter image within the beginning of this post, you may or may not know the underlying question surrounding this. Originally this post (which I had originally thought it represented) was intended for the music industry to educate themselves and formulate a plan to effectively combat the racial issues we are facing in this world. We would then support the movement by promoting knowledge and education as well as providing important resources that help to support the movement.

This idea was also created by two Black Women: Brianna Agyemang and Jamila Thomas

See… the thing is.. it seems that this amazing effort to execute effective change, somehow got co-opted by an unknown group who pushed the hashtag #BlackOutTuesday (see ‘Real/Fake’ post image below). I saw another really insightful post on Instagram by Brittany Packnett. She proceeded to inform those who viewed her insta TV video with a Fact Check by sharing the following information: Here.

Sis, how about the hashtag was originally #TheShowMustBePaused.

I, like many of us, posted a black square via instagram in order to exercise the action of digitally protesting by way of all social media accounts (as it relates to the fake post we saw). I used the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag as well as #BlackOutTuesday and shared as much information as I could, to promote ways in which we all can contribute to this powerful movement (I’ll include some links below for reference). The problem with this is that using the BLM hashtag overwhelmed the tag category on Instagram, drowning out all helpful and important information that needs to be shared with a sea of black boxes. This is digital protest suppression, and the only way to detach the image from the hashtag would be to remove the post and re-post the black square, because even if you edit the caption (I’m told), the post still shows up within the previous tag’s category (as though you still have the old tag in place).

I just think it’s crazy that this even happened! Two messages — Two different motives. I wonder who got behind this, because at the moment it seems no one knows. Whoever created the fake post we originally saw, should be exposed because that’s Not okay… I mean think about it, who calls for a blackout to silence ourselves on a day where many states are voting in the primary??

This is a week of ACTION, and we will not be silenced!

Share as much information as you can!

Donate if you can!

Remove your money from banks that have not supported our people, and move your funds to black credit unions (I need to do this!)

Shop Black — Support Black Owned Businesses

In moments of confusion or misunderstanding that arise, in regards to this movement with your friends, colleagues, and/or family members (anyone who can’t relate) educate them. If you have the energy to, because We Are Tired. The one thing I have noticed is that America caught the attention of other countries, and it’s honestly beautiful and empowering to see that other people are waking up and wanting to push the message of equality for Black people all over the world.

We are fighting for our rights at a GLOBAL scale!

What we will NOT do is post a black square and refrain from sharing information, because we ‘made an effort’.

What we will NOT do is push performative support. Exhibit A — This “Influencer” put on her help hat by pretending to help board up a store with broken windows that had been looted the night before (disgusting).

What we will NOT do is allow outside influences to distract us from our movement, and take away from the power that has fueled our mission for equality among our people.

At the end of all of this, and I hope it will end, I hope this brings unity among all of us as a collective. I hope we all find compassion in our hearts to help others in need, releasing ego and enforcing positive change. Most of all I hope and pray that my people will know longer have to face racial injustice and inequality, because it’s about time we left that shit behind us FOR GOOD!

So I ask again.. How are you feeling?

I really want to know, because I care.

My heart has been so heavy lately, and I know we are all dealing with this in our own way. Writing has helped me release some of this energy in a healthy way. I want to create a safe space for those who would like to share their feelings, if it helps in any way.

Also, if you happen to know of any donation links, community efforts, events, organizations to fight change, or if you have links that drive to the support of black owned businesses and would like to share them — PLEASE DO! I want to repost these resources, and have them present here for anyone who is looking for ways that they can contribute to change.

If you’ve happened to stop by and read this post, thank you for coming through.

Love & Light to You*

-Tati

I’ve Included Content Below & Above Image | Repost On My Instagram Story Post Image shared via @ceomaltbia

#BlackLivesMatter ResourcesWays You Can Help

National Resource List — Master Doc (Charities, Free Legal Help, Mutual Aid Funds, & Tips For Protesting

List of Bail Funds For Protestors Across The Country

Organizations You Can Donate To:

George Floyd Memorial Fund

Minnesota Freedom Fund

Reclaim The Block

National Bail Out

Black Lives Matter

Bail Project

Black Visions Collective

Campaign Zero

National Bail Fund Network

The Innocent Project

Justice For Breonna

Run With Maud

Call DA Mike Freeman in Minnesota (612)-348-5550 and DEMAND prosecution to: Derek Chauvin (Badge #1087) Tou Thoa (Badge #7162)

Leave a message for Louisville Mayor and DEMAND justice for Breonna Taylor (502)-574-2003

Master List of Safety Tips For Protesting: (A Twitter Thread)

Know Your Rights Before You Go Out to Protest (An Article)

NJ Voter’s Registration

Reading:

Black History Library

Anti-Racism Resources For White People: Books, Podcasts, Articles, Videos

Email Template To Report Racist Students

Calling/Emailing Scripts For Justice