It’s Almost Moving Day!

This will be a short one… I haven’t been writing as often, because I’ve been so busy moving, but it’s been a pretty productive couple of weeks for me and my girlfriend. My heart is so full honestly.

Yesterday, with the help of our family, we were able to move:

3 Leather Couches

2 Kitchen Tables

6 Heavy Chairs

1 Queen Bed Frame & Mattress

2 Bedroom Dressers

5 Golden Ringssssss lol

No — but honestly we moved a LOT of furniture. We gave most of the pieces to people who needed it for their apartments (friends in the area), so that made me feel really good. I’d rather give things away to people that can use them, rather than tossing them out/holding on to them when I know it’s time to let them go. Some boxes were put in storage (winter clothes mainly), so it all worked out. I woke up this morning SO sore by the way, but I thought that would happen after such a long day of heavy lifting.

We were in moving mode from 6AM to 2:30PM, and were wobbling all around our area (dropping things off) that afternoon, to make sure we got everything done before our return time at U-Haul. Sarina and I felt so accomplished at the end of the day. Now we only have a few boxes left to pack up!

Sarina’s brothers-in-law taking the front door down, temporarily, so that we can bring some furniture out of the house. So grateful for the support we’ve received from our family ❤

Since we’re bed-less Sarina’s mom has been gracious enough to let us stay at her place, for the next couple of nights. This way we can finish up the little bit of packing that’s left, cleaning at the old/new apartment, and prepare for Moving Day this upcoming Wednesday!

We’re SO excited, and personally I feel like I’m anxiously and impatiently waiting for 7/1 to come. Sarina and I have both said it’s like that feeling of butterflies that you get when you’re about to go on a trip somewhere. That’s literally how it feels — and we cannot wait! So excited for this new beautiful journey we’re about to begin!!

I said I wasn’t going to cry, but I had a moment yesterday as we were packing up the last cupboard in the kitchen. I got teary eyed for a bit and got emotional, but they were happy tears. I think it was just really different for me, seeing these rooms I had occupied and made a home for myself in for 11 years, now empty you know? I’ve become the woman I am today while living on the 3rd floor of that 3-family house… I’ve grown so much, professionally, personally, and have gone through so many beautiful experiences that have shaped me while living there.

All of the challenges, the lessons, the amazing and incredible moments I’ve had in my “Carrie Bradshaw” apartment, are memories I will definitely cherish. I am so grateful for all of the blessings I’ve received while living here. SO grateful!

So ready for this new chapter to begin ❤

If you’ve happened to stop by and read this post, thanks for coming through! More updates to follow, once we officially move ❤

Love and Light*

Happy Sunday

-Tati

Insecure Season 4 Finale TeaCap

Lawrence dropped a BOMB on Issa!

SPOILER ALERT — SPOILER ALERT — This is a Season (4) Finale TeaCap. I will be recapping the gem that is Insecure, in depth, sharing my thoughts as well as the feedback I’ve received and perspectives shared on Twitter and Instagram. So honey, if you haven’t watched it by now, you probably should come back to this post once you do because it gets REALLY REAL.

Molly & Andrew

We start off at Molly’s company function which they are attending together. Andrew looks unenthused. One of Molly’s coworkers came over and asked if they would be coming to an after party/function that was being held after the event. Molly was all about it, but Andrew… not so much. It was at this very moment, I saw the beginning of the end. Back in the room, she continues to carry on as if nothing’s wrong. She did not see the signs. At this point, I just feel like she lives in her own world and completely neglects the issues that develop around her if they don’t directly impact the way she feels in that moment. As a direct result of this, Andrew proceeds to let her have it, and told her about herself, letting her know that it’s not all about her and that she needs to be willing to compromise in ways that she hasn’t. He was clearly fed up, and expressed how unhappy he was in the relationship due to the current state of things.

Did we not see this coming?

They had a conversation about what they wanted, Andrew pretty much thinks that they may not be a good match. Molly was STUNNED and of course she tried to work through it with him (it’s a shame that she didn’t have this same energy for Issa when they were dealing with their issues in the last episode…). She mentioned that this is the longest relationship they had both been in, and hit him with the “doesn’t that mean something?”. Andrew responded with a resting bitch face and still seemed to be over it, asking her if this is what she really wanted… You know, since she has just been doing things her way without trying to meet him in the middle with his brother, doing things on her time, only doing the things she wants to do, etc. We were left on a cliffhanger, as the scene faded away with her slowly nodding her head in agreement, signifying that she indeed wanted the relationship to work between the two of them.

Did they break up? Are they going to “take a break”? Are they going to try to work things out?… We won’t know until Season 5, but I think it may be over for these two.

Issa & Nathan

They’ve managed to keep things platonic, and Issa has made it clear that she is back with Lawrence. The good thing is that Nathan seems to respect that, and let’s her know that he will definitely abide by her wishes to keep it strictly friendly. However, it’s definitely apparent that he has not lost an interest in the relationship that could’ve been, with Issa, so.. who knows what will happen during the next season. On Twitter I feel like there is a 50/50 split between those who are in favor of a relationship with Nathan Vs. Lawrence, so we will see how this all pans out.

Tiffany!!!

In the last episode of this season, we learn that Tiffany is missing! Listen, I’ve BEEN saying that they needed to check on their friend since the very beginning of the season when she started to show the signs… The husband reaches out to Kelli (a REAL one by the way), who gathers the girls, and they all meet up to try and find her. She had been missing since the night before, and was not answering any of their phone calls/texts. This also brought Molly and Issa together, and it was tense at first, but you were able to see the guilt on Molly’s face as she looked at her best friend from time to time she knew she was wrong. They took a bus to a hotel they thought she might be staying in, after reviewing security cameras. When they made it to Tiffany’s floor, everyone felt relieved when her husband knocked on the door and she opened it up for him. They embraced eachother, and that was the end of that scene.

Tiffany apologized to her husband, and let him know that this has been hard for her. Insecure took this moment to highlight the topic of postpartum, and I truly appreciated that! I don’t have children of my own yet, but I have friends who do and this is a very REAL topic that is not widely discussed, so I am glad that Issa and her production company pushed this to the forefront during that episode. We need to have these discussions. Women deal with postpartum, more importantly Black Women and Black Men were watching this (and I’m sure a lot of us can relate, those of us with children). This creates a dialogue in order to have healthy conversations around it. I STAN! I’m glad they found her, and I’m also glad that she has a supportive husband and girlfriend group by her side to help her through this. Hopefully she is in a better place, from a mental perspective, after seeking therapy/counseling when we see her again in the next season I love Tiffany, and Amanada Seales lol.

Issa & Lawrence & Condola

Okay, I had to save this part for last because this one took a lot of us by surprised, although some of us were expecting it? At least that’s some of the feedback I gathered from Twitter. I’ll get right into it, because I have to share my thoughts on this one. Lawrence comes over to Issa’s place and they start talking, but something is wrong and it’s written ALL over his face! He let’s her know that he has something he wants to share with her. He proceeds to let her know that Consequences came by and needed to speak with him the night before. We got a play-by-play of the conversation at his place.

Condola tells Lawrence that she is PREGNANT girl!! PREGNANT!!!

Lawrence says “I thought we were being careful”

He then asks her, if she knows for sure that it’s his. She tells him yes, and then let’s him know that she is GOING TO HAVE THIS BABY. She also let’s him know that he can be “as involved as he wants to be”, either way she is keeping the child. When I tell you Lawrence looked hurt? He looked HURT. Just when you thought it was sweet, and things were going well with Issa, BOOM! So Issa is obviously shocked, hurt, disappointed all of the above. She says “So what does this mean?”.. Things are quickly going to change for them all 3 of them, and now she has a decision to make.

To stay?

To go?

To co-parent?

Nathan?

Take a break from all of it and weigh the pros and cons?

The scene ends with both of them discussing the baby mama drama on the couch (we don’t have the deets yet). Then we fade into the final scene of the season where Issa and Molly met up for a chat at their favorite restaurant. Now we don’t know what they were actually chatting about, but I’m pretty sure Issa got the apology she never received from Molly — at least she better had. I’m also sure that these two probably had a much needed and overdue heart-to-heart, that consisted of all of the bombs that had been dropped during that episode — From the possible breakup between Molly and Andrew to the new baby on the way.

@heyhevhynn via Twitter

It goes without saying that this was a great season! The momentum seriously built up in a way that I didn’t expect, especially towards that ending. Aside from that I want to applaud Issa Rae and her production team again, for the Visuals and the Necessary Topics highlighted during this season, all were very captivating and relatable. This brings me to my next point and final question:

Do YOU think Issa should stay with Lawrence?

I created a poll on my IG story to see what other people thought, and at first it seemed like the majority of folks were definitely not in favor of Issa and Lawrence trying to work things out with a co-parenting situation in place, but it actually ended up resulting in a tie almost (43% said Yes and 53% said No).

Poll on my IG story @callme_tati_

Many of us had been rooting for Lawrence and Issa‘s love reconnection, so it felt personal when he dropped that bomb on her about the baby he is now having with Canola Oil. From the feedback I collected, a lot of folks felt that she was being Petty Labelle after deciding to keep the baby, with a man she is not currently with. Just sharing some points and perspectives that were shared on Twitter:

@JoyyUnSpeakable via Twitter
@evelynwoodsen via Twitter
@CheikMarcellus via Twitter
@demelmichael via Twitter
@NiaKnowsTooMuch via Twitter
@Crissles (The Read Podcaster) via Twitter. Shares a fair perspective..

Here’s what I think:

Lawrence just received a job offer in San Francisco that is providing him with travel costs, an entire team he is managing, as well as a personal assistant — so he’s got a big enough bag to support his child it seems. He needs to take care of his responsibilities, regardless of whether or not the mother is able to care for the child on her own from a financial standpoint. I don’t agree with Condominiums telling him that he can be as involved as he wants to be, he should provide for the child and be present. I also think that co-parenting can work, as many people do it. My parents have done it, and they were still able have healthy relationships while caring for me separately. We have to remember that the child was conceived when Issa and Lawrence weren’t dating. However, this type of relationship (and all of the changes that come with it) is something Issa has to want for herself — Period.

Issa should take a step back, and weigh the pros and cons, to really dive into this moment and analyze the situation in a way that will uncover the best route to take, for her. Ultimately her happiness is priority #1. She can either decide if she feels this is what she really wants, to reconnect and build with Lawrence as there would be a long distance and co-parenting situation that she will need to factor in. — OR —

Maybe she doesn’t want that? She can also just decide that this is not for her, and take a break from dating in general to focus on her. She is definitely in her Goal-Getting Mode and I love it. There’s also this idea of Nathan coming back into the picture (romantically), not to say that she has to move on at this moment, as that would be way too much for her right now — but I can definitely see him being a character that we focus on in the next season.

Issa has some serious decisions to make, I hope we won’t have to wait until 2022 to see what unfolds in Season 5, because — COVID, but I will leave you with this, as I completely agree:

@iLLmak3Ufamous via Twitter
@amour_nynhaa via Twitter

If you’ve happened to pass by and read this post, I hope you enjoyed this TeaCap! If you have viewpoints on the topics I’ve shared within this post, feel free to lend your perspective. I love the conversations that stem from the Insecure episodes.

Love & Light*

-Tati

Everything Must Go!

It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’m writing this post in my kitchen, on my phone, surrounded by the mess of boxes and things we are packing up. We’ve been donating and purging like crazy, while also purchasing the new things we need for our new place little by little. With that being said, I have a closet FULL of paintings that I’ve accumulated over the last 10 years or so. It’s with a heavy heart, that I must now move forward with letting these paintings go to make space for new creation ❤

I have so many pieces that I’ve made while I was happy, angry, confused, at peace, tipsy (shoutout to those sip & paints I used to go to lol) — so many emotions tied to all of these, so I thought it might be best to just put them on the blog, in case anyone’s interested?

So here they are! Pardon the quality on some of these photos, as I’ve had to take them pretty quickly before storing them away (my mom is holding some of them too — thanks ma!)

So.. if you’ve happened to pass by and read this post, thanks for coming through! Let me know if you’re interested in any of these paintings, and I’ll definitely respond quickly! We’re moving within the next couple of weeks, so this will be a pretty quick process 🙂

I’m selling 2-3 pieces for the discounted price of 1. Price ranges for the ones that are for sale: $20-$25, depending on the piece you are interested in. I’m also giving a decent amount of these away for FREE as well, so let me know which one you’d like — it could be $Free.99

Love & Light*

Take care of yourself today.

-Tati ❤

Molly & The Madness — Insecure Episode 9

All I could say was WOW at the end of that episode on Sundayyyy! Before I read Molly, I plan to go in chronological order, so let’s start with Issa and Lawrence, shall we?

So… in Episode 8, we finally got to see Lawrence and Issa meet up. They went on a date, and enjoyed each other’s company, really enjoyed it. They met up for drinks, had dinner, and then walked around to check out some art. Let me just say that the cinematography in this season is ON POINT, colors, angles — love it! I would also like to take back my previous comment regarding a potential re-connection between these two, because after watching them interact with each other, you can tell they just get one another (in a way that flows way more naturally than their previous short-lived dating experiences).

Lawrence confesses that he has been thinking about her, and has been wondering if they could’ve done anything to make the relationship work. This got a little spicy, as they both laid their cards out on the table, but it was necessary (I should mention, Condola is also texting Lawrence as they’re having dinner, and wants to meet up). As these two are hanging out, you could see how comfortable they were with each other, and they gelled pretty well. The most important thing is that there seems to be some growth established here from both sides, so that is a plus, and yeah I actually am here for it…

So… to fast forward and head over to Episode 9, prior to the ending of episode 8, we see that Issa and Lawrence are getting along so well, that he invites her up to his apartment. Issa uses the bathroom, and comes back in to see that he just got off of the phone with Condolences, I mean Condola. To make a long story short, Issa didn’t want to leave, and Lawrence didn’t want her to go either, so you guessed it, things got really hot and heavy between the two of them, she wound up spending the night, and skipped her jolly self all the way over to her apartment the next morning (smiling the entire way).

Episode 9:

We see that these two love birds have been hanging out very often, staying over and doing things that ‘couples do’, so it was only right that Issa asked Lawrence if he had any loose ends still floating about. He responds by saying that he’s cut things off with Condoleezza Rice, and that he enjoys the re-connection they have now as things have been working well for them. He’s happy, she’s happy, but I should also mention that he is looking to get a new job and move to San Francisco while Issa is in LA. so there’s that. Issa has been an open book with Lawrence, and lets him know that she is planning to help an ex move (Nathan), but clarifies that their relationship is strictly platonic.

Now, I feel that many of us, after going through all of these changes would want to run and tell their best friend, because obviously this tea is piping HOT, and who better to share it with, right? Well, I’ll get to that in a second..

Switching over to Molly, who is at her therapy session — thank you baby jesus! Lord knows Miss Molly has needed to do some soul searching. She proceeds to talk about all of the stress she’s dealing with, how her relationship is harder than she thought it would be, and that she feels she does not owe an apology/doesn’t feel like she could’ve done things differently regarding her issues with Issa although that is her “best friend“. Her therapist basically let’s her have it in the nicest way possible, by unpacking her control issues with just about everything that is important to her which may be adding to the stress, like her job, her relationship with Andrew, her friendship with Issa, and even feeling loss of control in the situation involving her father’s infidelity within her parents marriage —WHEW A Word! Basically as she dissects this, her therapist is asking Molly to look within when it comes to deciding whether or not her friendship with Issa serves her anymore.. You know, since she doesn’t want to actually do the work to meet her halfway and resolve the issue.

Switching back over to Issa, as our dear good-good girlfriend decides to be the bigger person, by calling Molly up and asking to meet up for brunch (and kudos to her, she is better than me, because I think it’s time for Molly to play that role). They meet up, and have a cordial sit down, laughing and kee-keeing as they normally would. She lets Molly know that she’s helping Nathan move, and Molly lies and tells her that her vacation was fun — when we really know how it went down. So yeah, in a nutshell, the chit chat ended on a nice note BUT they didn’t really dive into their issues, which I thought would’ve been a priority.

Molly goes back to her boyfriend Andrew’s house to fill him in on how it went. She was cold. She said that it seemed like a surface-level conversation and that they did not talk about the real root of their previous issues, but mentioned that she showed up so she played her part… Grrrrr, I did not like that. Andrew remains unbiased and tells her that he should meet Issa halfway, as this is all a misunderstanding, and she disagrees with him, of course. Moving back over to them and their relationship, in my opinion there are issues brewing there too. We all know that the trip to Mexico went South because Molly and her boyfriend’s brother got into an argument. It seems his brother tried to make amends by inviting them both to a Clippers game, but she turned him down and told him to go without her.

One thing to note is that Andrew is increasingly becoming uncomfortable (from what I can see), by Miss Molly’s slight control issues that rear their ugly head from time to time, and he also seems to be bothered by the fact that she’s not really trying to take the first step in trying to salvage the sour relationship she has with his brother. My friend and I were watching this on Sunday night with my girlfriend Sarina (our ritual), and we both agreed that not getting a long with family, or at the very least trying to make an effort is a DEAL BREAKER. I really think Molly needs to let go of her control and avoidance issues, but we all have things we need to work on I suppose (I’m just hoping this doesn’t mess up ALL of the meaningful relationships that she has with people, because we’re heading there, and I can see Andrew wanting to put the breaks on this if she doesn’t stop being so uptight…)

Back over to Issa, she’s on the phone with Lawrence, letting him know how things went with Molly during brunch, but her feedback was the complete opposite of what Molly shared during her conversation with Andrew. She said that it went very well, and that she really missed her soooo…. yeah there is definitely a disconnect there. Issa goes over to Nathan‘s place to help him move, and she lets him know that her and Lawrence are back together. He had negative things to say about him (although he’s never met the guy — *eye roll*), and proceeds to let her know that he actually ghosted her (in the last season), because he was dealing with sorting through his bipolar disorder — and there we have it ladies and gentleman, the real reason he left. Let’s just hope he doesn’t do anything outlandish during the last episode, now that he knows she is back with her ex, and clearly still has a thing for her.

Molly & Issa:

Final point, you know I had to save this for last. Issa is over Andrew’s house with Nathan and Molly after they finish up with the move. From the moment they arrived, Molly was making it super awkward as if she didn’t really want them to be there. She pretends as though she does, and keeps up with the pleasantries to avoid making it uncomfortable. As they are playing a drinking game, Molly sends the wrong text (meant for Andrew) to Issa and it reads “See? I’m trying with her.”……

Issa reads the text, and replies letting her know that she read it, and clearly decides to leave. They begin to talk outside, and Molly let’s her know that she feels like everything between them is being forced. Issa let’s her know that she is trying, but she is not meeting her halfway, and didn’t realize that Molly felt that way about her. She then tries to dig up the real issues that seem to have Molly in this space with her, but Molly… still.. is not budging. Issa states that she can’t be the only the one who wants to make the friendship work, and do you know what Molly says? “Maybe who you are now and who I am, just don’t fit anymore”…. SIS you are BREAKING UP WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND, FOR WHAT exactly?

I felt so bad for Issa, as if she was my home girl in real life. As she stood there and listened to Molly’s madness, her eyes were tearing up, and she looked so hurt and disappointed by what Molly had to say to her. Her response was one I definitely supported after all of that though. She said “OK”, and Molly proceeds to hit her with the “OK?!”… Yes, OK! She really irked me when she proceeded to stand there as though Issa was just supposed to beg her for their friendship, when she has specifically chosen to not lift one finger and do the work to contribute in an effort to resolve their problems, in order to move past them. That is what two mature adults do, but Molly still has to dig deeper inside of herself to see that she was wrong in that situation.

Anyways, my good sis Issa did the right thing, and threw in the towel after that. She preserved her energy and got a ride home, while Molly stood there appearing to be shocked by her response for some reason. Hoping that will be the last time she treats her friend like that, because Issa was never coming from a place of malice at any point within the season (in my opinion). Issa got in her lyft and that was that, poor thing. I guess we will have to wait and see what the Season Finale will be like , but I personally think that Molly is going to catch herself in a situation where she is going to face challenges within her relationship (as things have been getting a little rocky lately). She may find herself losing control once again, but if/when that does happen: Sis! WHO You gonna call?

I went on a Twitter rant on Sunday night after watching that last episode, and this is what I had to say to Miss Molly Carter:

Molly girl, I just —
• Please Self Reflect
• Be Accountable
• Pick & Choose Your Battles
• Know when to be the Bigger Person
• Support Your Best Friend
• Recognize what you Can/Can’t Control

I will of course, report back with my thoughts on the tea that is brewing for this upcoming Sunday during Episode 10 (can’t believe the season’s almost over). Shout out to Kerry Washington for directing that episode, she did the damn thing, because we were ALL talking about it. Also, shout out/congrats to Yvonne Orji (Molly in Real Life). She has a new comedy special out on HBO “Yvonne Orji: Momma I made It!” and she killed it! — So good, and I’m so happy for her. Definitely recommend watching it, if you haven’t already.

If you’ve happened to pass by and read this post, thanks for coming through!

If you watch Insecure, feel free to comment/share your thoughts here too if it interests you. I love a good chat.

Love & Light*

-Tati

Self Care Sundays

Long Branch, NJ — Beach Sunset For The Win!

It’s been a ROUGH couple of days. I’m just going to keep it all the way 100, and say that my hormone monster has been on Level 10 this week. After protesting and think of just life in general, with all that’s going on — during a pandemic, my emotions have gotten the best of me. I damn near broke my phone dealing with this moody roller coaster I’ve been on. I just want to thank my girlfriend for being along for the ride, and for always being my emotional savior and therapist! She keeps me sane and balanced, and checks me when I need it. Truly the definition of a Rider ❤

On Saturday morning, we were lying in bed, and realized it was going to be another hot day, so we decided to just pack up and go to the beach. We went all the way down to Ocean Grove beach, found thee best parking spot, and it was then we realized that you cannot just ‘walk on the beach’…

It was our first time being back at the beach at all this summer, after covid, so we had absolutely no idea that you actually need to download an app called Viply to purchase daily, weekly, or weekend passes in order to enter the beach! Of course the beach we went to had no passes left, so we took our little umbrella and cooler and salsa-d back to the car…

After that we went to Long Branch, because we were able to purchased passes there. We had a BEAUTIFUL day at the beach. Sarina (my girlfriend) and I cuddled, listened to the waves, and stargazed after sunset. It was absolutely everything. We gave thanks to Mother Moon, Mother Earth, and the all knowing Universe while we were there, and when we left, we felt so good!

Favorite time of the day

We crashed like 2 tired babies when we got home of course. Today we decided to keep up with Self Care Sunday because:

Sarina loves to play tennis, so we went over to the park and she played, while I ran on my favorite trail in Weequahic Park, Newark New Jersey.

I really needed this to close off the weekend. Spending time in solitude, in nature, writing, listening to the sounds of the wind and the birds chirping — this brings me peace, and I seriously needed to recenter. I am grateful for this day and all of the blessings I’ve received.

THANK you

Thank YOU

THANK YOU!

Expressing moments of gratitude out loud is a daily habit I like to keep. There is so much to be grateful for. Now that I’ve had dinner, I’m going to wash my hair, do a mask, and get comfy so that I can watch Insecure with Sarina and my good good girlfriend, before the night is over. — — — By the way, I’m a little annoyed that Issa has chosen to be the bigger person yet again, in this situation with Molly, but we will see how this goes tonight, and of course I will report back👩🏾‍💻💬!

Post By @kagdesignco via Instagram

I’ll need to get some rest because tomorrow I’m getting 3 wisdom teeth surgically removed — wish me luck! I hope everyone’s loving on themselves and keeping up with self care today, if you can.

Love & Light*

-Tati

Peaceful Protest For Change & Equality

The residents of Maplewood & South Orange protested peacefully, on Friday, June 5, 2020. This protest was organized by the students of Columbia High School.

I am writing this post over, and attempting to upload it as it originally wouldn’t post for some reason. I’ve been trying to get these images to upload, and to show here, because they mean a LOT to me.. so I am posting them bit by bit. They have to be seen, and this story has to be told.

Mothers, fathers, children, teachers, medical professionals, city officials, local business owners, and residents gathered in South Orange on Friday, June 5th to walk peacefully for positive change and equality, while police officers blocked off intersections in observance of our protest. This was such a powerful moment, and I’m so glad I was able to be a part of history in REAL TIME!

As my girlfriend and I walked from Spiotta Park in South Orange to Maplewood Municipal building down valley, we felt so empowered. We walked with my girlfriend’s mom, and our two friends. The streets were filled with people who spoke up for change and demanded that our voices were heard.

More importantly, the young men and women who organized this protest did an amazing job of using that moment to address the necessary changes needed within the community, as they spoke about there own personal experiences. Maplewood and South Orange is known for being a “stigma free” community. That all sounds nice on paper, but in reality there are still racial issues that exist within the two towns… and these students used this opportunity to call out these ‘stigma free’ local restaurant owners, and school systems!

(Video of one student who gave me chills, who describes the racial inequality he has experienced while watching the “Independence Day” fireworks in the local park. I believe his name is Danny)

I was absolutely infuriated when I learned that this stigma-free community, does not send school buses to certain areas within the school district, due to the location of the neighborhood as it relates to the “distance” of the school. There’s no reason why these children should have to take public transportation or walk miles just to get to school, and have to worry about being late for class, due to the fact that they have not been provided with public school transportation — this is a problem. Redlining is a problem, period.

It goes without saying, that we are being heard, and seen right now, and more than ever before, we are uniting and coming together (both in our communities and around the world) to push for positive change and equality for our people — BLACK PEOPLE!

We are the reporters.

We are the journalists.

With social media, we are only exposing what some people have been afraid to acknowledge.. what some people have been afraid to talk about outside AND inside their homes. It’s uncomfortable for many, and that’s good! This conversation needs to continue, until the issue of systematic racism and inequality is no longer an issue. We ask every white person/ally who wants to help/contribute in ways that will promote this change, to hold themselves accountable in these moments, continue to speak up and use their privilege to help us in moments when it is absolutely necessary, to educate and correct themselves/friends/family/peers/colleagues, and to continue to advocate for this change.

Do NOT stop, once it is no longer “trending”.

We will not be silenced, and we will continue to speak up, walk, and inform until you’ve heard us and give us the support we deserve! Even after that, we will never let go of what it took to get there. I have hope, and believe that even through all of the negativity, change will come — it has to!

Karma is a Black Woman.

Love & Light*

Be safe, Be well everyone.

❤ Tati

#BlackOutTuesday

Image sourced by @zaynescandycane (Twitter) and created by @sacree_frangine (Instagram)
*Click for more info shared by Brittany Packnett via Instagram*

I cried today.

After seeing so many of these horrible images and videos of my people being mistreated while peacefully protesting.

After seeing police try to arrest and put the blame on my people for damages they did not cause.

After trying to keep it together for over a week now, I had to take a moment to pause and breathe.

The crazy part about all of this is that, if you’re black and working in corporate america, you’re expected to just get your tasks done for the day as if you’re unaffected, and if you’re not working in an environment with a diverse group of people on your team, you’re basically dealing with these issues on your own with no one to connect with in your work environment that actually ‘gets’ it.

Instagram Post @goldinggirl617

I know that some companies have made public statements about the movement in effort to show support. Some haven’t, others have but it’s quite obvious by the tone of the message, that it was not coming from a place of sincerity. We’ve called companies out, and have unapologetically made some folks uncomfortable due to their silence, so it would make sense that some of these beloved brands are simply jumping at the chance to make a statement (even if it is not genuine) to clear their name.

Black Out Tuesday took place today. What is this you ask? I’d like to add more context here, as many were not fully informed before posting about it. Myself included, but this is why we MUST educate and share credible knowledge/sources regarding ANYthing surrounding this powerful movement.

Well, if you didn’t click the link above, underneath the #BlackLivesMatter image within the beginning of this post, you may or may not know the underlying question surrounding this. Originally this post (which I had originally thought it represented) was intended for the music industry to educate themselves and formulate a plan to effectively combat the racial issues we are facing in this world. We would then support the movement by promoting knowledge and education as well as providing important resources that help to support the movement.

This idea was also created by two Black Women: Brianna Agyemang and Jamila Thomas

See… the thing is.. it seems that this amazing effort to execute effective change, somehow got co-opted by an unknown group who pushed the hashtag #BlackOutTuesday (see ‘Real/Fake’ post image below). I saw another really insightful post on Instagram by Brittany Packnett. She proceeded to inform those who viewed her insta TV video with a Fact Check by sharing the following information: Here.

Sis, how about the hashtag was originally #TheShowMustBePaused.

I, like many of us, posted a black square via instagram in order to exercise the action of digitally protesting by way of all social media accounts (as it relates to the fake post we saw). I used the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag as well as #BlackOutTuesday and shared as much information as I could, to promote ways in which we all can contribute to this powerful movement (I’ll include some links below for reference). The problem with this is that using the BLM hashtag overwhelmed the tag category on Instagram, drowning out all helpful and important information that needs to be shared with a sea of black boxes. This is digital protest suppression, and the only way to detach the image from the hashtag would be to remove the post and re-post the black square, because even if you edit the caption (I’m told), the post still shows up within the previous tag’s category (as though you still have the old tag in place).

I just think it’s crazy that this even happened! Two messages — Two different motives. I wonder who got behind this, because at the moment it seems no one knows. Whoever created the fake post we originally saw, should be exposed because that’s Not okay… I mean think about it, who calls for a blackout to silence ourselves on a day where many states are voting in the primary??

This is a week of ACTION, and we will not be silenced!

Share as much information as you can!

Donate if you can!

Remove your money from banks that have not supported our people, and move your funds to black credit unions (I need to do this!)

Shop Black — Support Black Owned Businesses

In moments of confusion or misunderstanding that arise, in regards to this movement with your friends, colleagues, and/or family members (anyone who can’t relate) educate them. If you have the energy to, because We Are Tired. The one thing I have noticed is that America caught the attention of other countries, and it’s honestly beautiful and empowering to see that other people are waking up and wanting to push the message of equality for Black people all over the world.

We are fighting for our rights at a GLOBAL scale!

What we will NOT do is post a black square and refrain from sharing information, because we ‘made an effort’.

What we will NOT do is push performative support. Exhibit A — This “Influencer” put on her help hat by pretending to help board up a store with broken windows that had been looted the night before (disgusting).

What we will NOT do is allow outside influences to distract us from our movement, and take away from the power that has fueled our mission for equality among our people.

At the end of all of this, and I hope it will end, I hope this brings unity among all of us as a collective. I hope we all find compassion in our hearts to help others in need, releasing ego and enforcing positive change. Most of all I hope and pray that my people will know longer have to face racial injustice and inequality, because it’s about time we left that shit behind us FOR GOOD!

So I ask again.. How are you feeling?

I really want to know, because I care.

My heart has been so heavy lately, and I know we are all dealing with this in our own way. Writing has helped me release some of this energy in a healthy way. I want to create a safe space for those who would like to share their feelings, if it helps in any way.

Also, if you happen to know of any donation links, community efforts, events, organizations to fight change, or if you have links that drive to the support of black owned businesses and would like to share them — PLEASE DO! I want to repost these resources, and have them present here for anyone who is looking for ways that they can contribute to change.

If you’ve happened to stop by and read this post, thank you for coming through.

Love & Light to You*

-Tati

I’ve Included Content Below & Above Image | Repost On My Instagram Story Post Image shared via @ceomaltbia

#BlackLivesMatter ResourcesWays You Can Help

National Resource List — Master Doc (Charities, Free Legal Help, Mutual Aid Funds, & Tips For Protesting

List of Bail Funds For Protestors Across The Country

Organizations You Can Donate To:

George Floyd Memorial Fund

Minnesota Freedom Fund

Reclaim The Block

National Bail Out

Black Lives Matter

Bail Project

Black Visions Collective

Campaign Zero

National Bail Fund Network

The Innocent Project

Justice For Breonna

Run With Maud

Call DA Mike Freeman in Minnesota (612)-348-5550 and DEMAND prosecution to: Derek Chauvin (Badge #1087) Tou Thoa (Badge #7162)

Leave a message for Louisville Mayor and DEMAND justice for Breonna Taylor (502)-574-2003

Master List of Safety Tips For Protesting: (A Twitter Thread)

Know Your Rights Before You Go Out to Protest (An Article)

NJ Voter’s Registration

Reading:

Black History Library

Anti-Racism Resources For White People: Books, Podcasts, Articles, Videos

Email Template To Report Racist Students

Calling/Emailing Scripts For Justice

Happy Birthday to Me!

Baby Tati Circa ’90 Something
You can look at my mom and tell…

Today makes 32, and I am SO GRATEFUL for ALL of my Blessings!!! I’m grateful for life, a new day, my health, family, love, genuine friendships with amazing people, my job and the ability to work from home. I’m also thankful for all of the experiences that have molded and shaped me, for all of the challenges I’ve faced that have helped build and strengthen my character.

I try to make it a habit to start my day with a moment of gratitude, and whenever the time calls for me to vocalize those moments of realization, which remind me that I should root myself in gratitude. So much has happened over the last week or so, actually the past couple of months — THIS WHOLE YEAR (I know it’s only been about 6 months, but it definitely does not feel like it). As a collective, our experiences have been pretty crazy since March, if I had to pick a month, with Miss Rona on the prowl. The horrible stories we’ve read and images we’ve seen regarding “Karen Temper Tantrums” and the awful killings we’ve been witnessing among our community (Rest In Paradise, to all of the beautiful black Queens and Kings we’ve lost). This has all been too much, and quite frankly I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster these last couple of days, but I’m releasing that here and it feels much better to offload my thoughts and feelings into the blog…

I’m dealing with a pretty bad toothache, and will need to see an oral surgeon to remove my wisdom teeth, so I look like a blow fish basically, and have been popping 600mg ibuprofen like a mad woman — because Pain. I was also planning to bring my cousin, my mother, and my girlfriend on another hiking trip, and end the day off with a picnic. Cute right? We had to postpone those plans though, because the weather calls for rain today. This really made me a little sad because I love spending time with them, and that would’ve been a great way to spend my birthday, but it’s all good!

32 Will be an amazing year of life!
32 Will be filled with Magical experiences!
Claiming It!!

There’s so much to be grateful for, and there will always be another time to go on that trip with them (shooting for next week if weather permits). I am surrounded by love, and I appreciate all of the Happy Birthday-s I’ve been receiving this morning. My girlfriend has been making me feel really special today, because she knows I’m a little down about this “quarantined birthday” experience, and I love her for that ❤ Anyways, it’s Friday — I’m OFF and it’s my birthday weekend, so I will make the best of it. I also have another update, but I will follow up on here with that after the weekend 🙂

If you’ve happend to stop by, thanks for coming through and I hope you have a good weeekend!

Love & Light* From this 32yr Old

-Tati

UPDATE:

My birthday weekend, was everything I needed, and I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to spend it with my mother, my girlfriend, and some of my closest friends! Although I didn’t get to take my little cousin on that hike, I got to see my best friend and her newborn (SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL OMG! The cutest family). We stopped by there and had a couple of drinks and pizza my face is paying for it now.. I can’t have whole milk or cheese, but it was worth it! My girlfriend and I went over my other friend’s place to have a chill day and grill, have some drinks, and they had a strawberry shortcake for me!!! I seriously wanted to cry.

We ended the night by heading up to her roof to stargaze, and I saw a shooting star for the first time in my life — ah-may-zing! My tooth ache is much better now that I’ve gone to the oral surgeon. I just had a consultation and my wisdom tooth surgery is 3 weeks away — BUT I have antibiotics, another ibuprofen prescription, and medicated moth wash, so things have been a little bit better lately. I’m so thankful for that because I was in excruciating pain, and I was so swollen on the left side. I think by the time Jersey is officially opened, I will be recovering from the surgery — IN OUR NEW PLACE! We’ve finally found our new apartment, and we’re so excited. We move in July 1st, so there’s a lot of packing and preparation underway. I will definitely be writing about that. My girlfriend gave me the most beautiful roses for my birthday, and I just want them to last forever.

ALSO: There were protests taking place in Newark, South Orange, and all over parts of New Jersey last weekend. I am so proud of my city! Newark New Jersey is where I was raised up until about middle school. Some of my family still lives there, and I don’t live far so I come through often! We have had such a negative perception placed on our city, but the people of Newark walked alongside the police and city officials for George Floyd, and it was very peaceful — so HA! How about that 🙂 We know firsthand how it feels to lose everything and rebuild what is ours. When you think back at the riots that took place in the 60s, Newark was front and center. It’s so sad that 20 years later, we are still protesting for the same reasons: Black Equality and Justice. I want to make sure I am present during the next protest I’ve been informed of (won’t share those details here, just in case).

So much has happened recently, and I NEED to get this out in writing — Next Post

Justice For George Floyd

My heart is so heavy right now. This topic is one that is really important to me. It’s important to all of my black and brown people, so I had to write about it. We are all so tired of the racist images and videos we keep seeing over and over again on social media, on the internet — it’s sickening. All over the US people are protesting and rightfully rioting to DEMAND justice for George Floyd, may he Rest In Peace.

Post shared by Tracee Ellis Ross via Instagram

We are so TIRED of being targets for these disgusting individuals who think it is alright to take a black man/black woman’s life, for no reason at all. Within the video of George Floyd’s murder, he is not resisting arrest, he is actually complying with the officer. The officer proceeds to put his knee on George’s neck forcefully (this is so hard to witness), until he literally runs out of breath and dies. This is Murder and this is America, sadly.

Post shared on Instagram by Erykah Badu, reposting a tweet from Quinta Brunson on Twitter. I think all of us feel this way.

We view these images on our phones, even if we don’t go looking for them. We watch the news and it is so awful to see! It makes us frustrated, angry, depressed, some may even feel hopeless because it literally just doesn’t stop. We are dealing with PTSD, we are triggered and emotionally impacted in a BIG way when things like this happen. What I think is important about this post is that Quinta calls out something that a lot of us have been feeling.

After seeing these images and feeling outraged, if we’re at work it’s still a work day, and we’re expected to just move forward as if it were just any other day, while we’re hurting. This is just one example, of how we have to fight through the pain. Hypothetically speaking, if you work on a team of people and you are the only person of color, the fact is that other people are just not going to understand the way this makes us feel. They are just not going to get why this is so hard for us to deal with, and that it’s even more of a struggle to just push through the day after witnessing hateful things like this!

I am on twitter a lot, and most of the community there and on Instagram are calling out those who have been staying silent, and I truly appreciate that. I have friends from all walks of life, I love everybody who I’ve become close friends with that has proven to be a genuine person and a good friend regardless of race. I know that so many others feel the same way, but many people I follow have mentioned that a lot of the folks that normally speak up about politics or societal matters — everyday people and celebrities, tend to always stay silent during times like these.

Tweet from Jhene Aiko. I couldn’t agree with this more.

This country was built on the backs of black people. Our blood sweat and tears have contributed to the shaping and beginning of this country, and yet we’ve had to fight for everything we have — and still do. Our culture is glorified and yet, we still have to deal with racial issues every single day in 2020! Celebrities with large followings should be using their platforms to enforce change during this time, but many aren’t. I also think it’s important for people who aren’t black, to speak up and speak out during this time. Don’t silence yourselves to prevent moments of uneasiness among your peers. If you feel uncomfortable that should be even more of a reason to speak up, because this signifies that something is really wrong and it should be discussed!

Post by @Shirien.Creates via Instagram

This man, this black man, George Floyd was not given the opportunity to live a full life because it was taken by a police officer in Minneapolis. Cops were blocking the police officer’s home last night so that he would be safe. What kind of world are we living in? What kind of country claims to be the land of the free, when all people are not… free. I really hope we can come together to fight against this so that George Floyd and so many others we’ve lost can get their justice. The officer needs to be arrested for murder, this should NOT be tolerated! We should NOT allow this to go on in our communities. We need to rise up and come together to make change. I’m so tired of my black people dying, not living full lives, and dealing with racism on a daily basis.

Post shared via Instagram by @Chaninicholas

Share this post if you care, and please comment if you wish to share your feelings on the matter. We’re all going through it right now, and deserve to have a safe space to vent our frustrations. So tired of seeing my people in hashtags because of all of the hatred we face in this world.

Love & Light*

-Tati

And I Oop! – Insecure Episode 7

CALLING ALL INSECURE FANS! This is a SPOILER ALERT, I repeat: this is a SPOILER ALERT.

Just finished watching Insecure, and I have some thoughts on episode 7. Besides the fact that we’re on the edge of our seats at the very end of each short episode, and by that time have to wait an entire week to see what unfolds, I would like to dissect each of the character’s that have been highlighted so far this season… Starting with Molly.

Molly… SIS.. I am so glad you called your therapist because honey you are about to explode on the next person that triggers your anxiety/frustrations. I also think it’s so great, that the topic of therapy is one that we’re talking about more within our culture, it’s so important that we are becoming more comfortable speaking about it. It’s quite apparent that Molly is dealing with a LOT of internal issues, and she really needs to do some inner work to move through that in a healthy way. She has lashed out at Issa, her assistant (which was also very uncalled for and fueled by underlying issues), and after an altercation with the pool staff while on vacation, that quickly bubbled up into a big argument that touched on race with her new boo Andrew’s brother. They were pretty awkward after that whole thing went down, and rightfully so, because I’m sure that was a lot to process on both parts.

One thing I can say is that Andrew seems to be a good guy from what I can see. He was willing to do what he had to do to make sure Molly was comfortable, and handled the situation well, but she now has to handle her issues before they spill over into their relationship because I can see that happening with all of these triggering moments we’ve witnessed lately. We learn from Andrew, that the reason Nathan ghosted Issa was because he was dealing with mental health issues. Molly seemed to be curious about this when Andrew told her, but after she found out that Issa had been hanging out with Nathan again she started to judge her, even all the way from Mexico — in typical Molly fashion.

We also see a clip from the last episode that lets us know that Molly actually SAW Issa before Issa realized that Molly was in the same restaurant she placed an order from, and therefore knew that she made the decision to leave. I think the most annoying part about this is that, she pretended to be on her phone, so that Issa could walk in there to initiate reconciliation with HER (not cool in my opinion). I think she misses her best friend, but of course she is being STUBBORN. Fast forward and Molly bumps into Lawrence at the airport on their return flight from their baecation…

Lawrence, was on the phone with Issa at the very end of the episode before it ended and seemed to be setting up some time to meet with her. At least one would speculate this from the last clip and sneak peek that HBO shared for next week’s 8th episode. Of course I watched that, and saw that Lawrence actually does connect with her, they meet up for a drink and Issa says “so what did you have to tell me?” He’s been needing to ‘tell’ Issa something for a little while now, and one can only imagine what he wants to share after he and and his ex Condolences broke up..

Condola… She was obviously livid after the breakup with Lawrence. We still don’t know why or how they broke up, but we do know that she ghosted Issa when she was in need of her assistance (and professional partnership) before the block party was finalized. She then had the AUDACITY to just pop up at the event like oh hey, just thought I’d stop by, though I didn’t want to at one point and that’s why I was avoiding you (she didn’t really say that but she might as well have). She proceeds to let Issa know that her and Lawrence broke up, as if she had some insight into this, and is cryptic with her responses due to being in her feelings of course… a ton of unspoken animosity unbeknownst to Issa. Meanwhile back at the ranch..

Issa… GIRL, just move forward! That is all I have to say at this moment. We know that she is reconnecting with Nathan, and they seem to be hanging out more often, so the spark hasn’t left (and maybe, just mayyyybe we’ll find out the real reason he just took off on Issa like that and came back). As they try to rekindle, it seems, Lawrence is trying to get that ol’ thing back so this is just going to be super confusing for Issa I would think. There have been some moments within this season that seem to indicate hints that they both might still be in the ‘What If?’ place. That ‘I Need Closure’ space… that’s never a good area to be in my opinion. There’s just SO much confusion there…

My good friend and I watch the show together every Sunday via facetime, and we were talking about reconnecting with people we’ve dated in the past. From her perspective, she thinks that there can be moments (unique to the experience) where two people can part ways and reconnect from a place of growth and make it work. I also agree! My Perspective: (Two-fold) On one hand, I think it’s not the best idea to get back with exes, when they’ve shown you that they cannot meet your needs when it comes to what you must have within a partner in order to have a healthy relationship. However, on the other hand I think that if two people have had enough time apart (this is really important), and the basis of their original reason for breaking up was one that you wouldn’t attribute to their position in the relationship, and both people have shown tremendous GROWTH — it could work.

Sometimes we are at different places in our lives mentally (and sometimes spiritually), that do not allow for a relationship to work out the way we would have hoped. In my opinion it’s obviously best to part ways when that happens, it saves time and energy, but there has to be a significant amount of time apart for each individual to learn and grow from their life lessons and experiences, to leave and come back as different people. A certain level of maturity, and reflection HAVE to be present in order to revisit a past relationship to try to make it work. In Issa and Lawrence’s case, they haven’t really been apart long enough to change as people. To go back to what they had right now, they would only be opening a book from a page in chapter that they’ve already read, and who wants that?

Anyways, I love the show and I like the fact that Issa Rae is doing an incredible job of bringing everyday REAL LIFE issues that we face to the forefront. Shedding light on love, friendship, therapy, self reflection, and finding yourself, professionally. It’s creating a healthy dialogue and she’s doing so much for the culture! Love everything about it, she’s so talented and using her platform so well!

Do I think that Issa should hear Lawrence out? I guess (HEAVY on the ‘Guess’). Why not as long as she doesn’t allow herself to fall backwards. I do not think that they should get back together, they would potentially head right back to where they left off. Should Issa try this thing out with Nathan? I need to see the carfax on these issues Andrew spoke of to understand why he really ghosted her and came back, because that was not okay.

Molly? I’m hoping she can look inward and find balance and peace within herself so that she can sort her own problems out in order do what’s right and reach out to her best friend, because they need to talk! Issa also needs to go with her gut, and make the best decisions for her going forward, so I guess we’ll have to see what happens next Sunday. I will be here, waiting to hear what Lawrence has to say. Don’t even get me started on Tiffany and this postpartum concern that they’ve just lightly touched on (they need to check on her too!). Love Amanda Seales by the way ❤

If you watch Insecure and have happened to find this post, thanks for stopping by! I’ll likely do a recap of the season once it’s over, because I foresee another cliffhanger coming up, and I want to write about it…

#LateNightWritings

Love & Light*

-Tati